The Way of Life...

717

2011-07-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

想独自一个人去我们去过的地方。

但在半路上，我放弃了。

因为我开始控制不到了我的情绪。

到底，是怎样了。

Untitled

2011-07-17T02:33:00.001-07:00

Don't know. Don't know what should I do. I know there is something wrong.

Although you never told me, you never wrote to me, I know, and you know about it also.
I know it is some kind of "hiding", is one type of your "self-protecting" that prevent you to drop deeper and deeper.

I don't know what do you want. I don't know why all of it come in such a sudden. Is it any mistake that I have done. I know your feeling is not good, maybe this way can reduce the hurt, or you may feel better in such a way.

Whether you can see this post or not, I just want you to be happy. Promise me, happy always. Smile, and no more tears. I will try also. =)

I thought...

2011-06-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

I thought that I can really "see open" already;
I thought I can really accept the fact;
I thought I can really be so "xiao sha";
I thought I can really be so tough;
I thought I can really be so optimistic;
I thought...
I thought...

However, things are not as what I thought.
Maybe, these are just what I thought.
Am I just hide myself from the reality?
I told myself before, don't so easily drop eye tears.

You've bring me back to the reality.
I couldn't control myself and eye tears were dropped last night.

Maybe, I am not that tough as I imagined.

Weird feeling...

2011-05-27T01:01:00.000-07:00

She enters my life.

But yet, I don't know what is the feeling actually.

It is quite a confusing one.

Don't know what to do, don't know how to do.

It is such a weird feeling.

Waiting for her? Don't think so much. Just follow the feeling and just depends on fate.

=)

Graduating

2011-05-27T00:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the result of my Y4 S3 have been released. As this is my final semester in UTAR, thus release of this result indicates end of my degree life. Ya, I'm not more a student...

The feeling is weird, I've graduated, hardwork for 2years kindergarten + 6years primary school + 5years secondary school + 5years university life are paid off =)

Yet, friends are leaving. Entering the cruel working society soon. Everyone is stepping each other to climb higher. Will there still be true friends in working life? =(

Just back from Phuket 2 days ago. Went there for 5 days 6 nights. Why 5 days 6 nights? this was because we went at night and back at morning. Why so, because only in these times, EVERYONE CAN FLY... other times, the flight ticket was quiteee expensive...

I wished to talk about the trip here actually.. but i think if i reli got to talk abt it, it will surely be a long long long post.. thus, jz forget it.. hehe.. no need to write it here, coz i think the memory there wont be forgotten in my mind forever... anyway, friendship forever! and, UTAR, MY CHOICE...

五年@UTAR - Degree篇

2011-05-04T08:44:00.001-07:00

As mentioned in previous blog, miao and i changed our courses to engineering, thus the initial 4 dermaian, had separated into two groups, yiyan and lijong stayed at PJ for actuarial science, me and miao went to setapak. But not long later, before the degree started, miao was asked by his dad to transfer to KDU, Penang, thus left me alone at setapak...

That time Civil Engineering had about 100 students, which were separated into 4 groups. Yizhong and i both were in the same tutorial group, CI G3. The very first day, I got to know Hongzi, as he was sitting beside me, if not mistaken. I still remembered he asked me how many girls in our class, then he left out one of the girl. LOL

The next person I got to know, should be Meimei. That time we were selecting classrep, and her name was the easiest to remember, so I voted for her, not only voted, but shouted to support. Since then, i got more and more friends in my tutorial group.

I still remember, there was one day, blood donation, I followed the friends for my very first blood donation in my life. We were brought there by Koksheng, if not mistaken. Then Ah Khoo was at the bed beside me, and that time should be his first time, I guess, because he even took out his k750 to capture the blood "supplied" by him as a memory. The blood donation was also becoming the topic of very first presentation of mine in degree life, which was about "first blood"...

Throughout these years, especially the beginning 2 years, we one gang of CI G3 used to singK, watch movie, went jusco for lunch, went TBR for lunch, went Genting, Jln Ipoh Bakuteh, etc etc in one group. That's quite enjoyable. However, as time passed, the "member" of this gang kept changing... Some added into this gang, and some left this gang due to some misunderstanding...

Soon, it was my 3rd year in degree. I joined the organizing committee for 2009 May Intake orientation, which opened a new "door" for me to get to know more and more friends in my campus. Ya, i knew quite a lot of friends via the orientation. First, Ken, who was in the same RCM team with me, and became my baobeizhu at last. Then I knew some juniors in ice breaking as well. One of them is Xinqi. Ya, I got to mention her, as she was one of the "main root" for me to get to know others more friends... Then, I joined SRC, joined Traveler's Den committee and also PMP.. let me know more and more friends from different courses and different campus. Especially after UTAR BALL, all of us became much closer...

Thus, throughout the 3rd year of degree, the gang that I mix the most were still the CI G3 gang, and also SRC+gang... (Khenghooi, Ken, Sally, Kimlup, Ban, Meisze, Kelvin, Peiseen..)... Regarding Peiseen, how do I know her? It was due to Xinqi, as mentioned just now. We got to be so friends suddenly in such a short time, it was because of the case of Fiona, I think. Because of one hp num that I accidentally past to someone at canteen, LOL, thus causing me have to treat them drink vitagen and buy pearl milktea as apologize... In this 3rd year, I had my busiest period in UTAR, but yet the most meaningful year, i think... I organized utar ball, festival, orientation, trips to sg lembing and pulau redang in this year, from which I have learned a lot and know a lot of friends... At the end of year3, I joined a camp of YMM, from where I got to know some friends from China... although we have less contact already now... hehe

Soon, Year 4. In this year, because of CityTour, which was not really related to me actually, I got to know 3 more friends. CityTour is an orientation program that brings the freshmen to travel at KL in one day. It was initially organized by Traveler's Den committee and I was asked to incharge of this. But, I have my own Redang trip to organize that time, so I asked my didi aka Peiseen to handle it. Thus, she pulled her coursemates along, Wanjun, Choiyan and Meiyun... In this year, due to resigning the post of SRC, I had more free times. So, I had more time to play futsal with coursemates... which made me become closer with some friends whom I was not that close with them initially... Wenyi, Kakwai, Yeehong, Boonleong, Ah Siong, Kokwei, YY, Yikloong (and Victoria), Season, Joseph, Choongyang, Sintat, Kuekok, Tiongbun, etc etc etc... (too many already...)... We even had formed a team for the mini futsal tournament, namely DREAM TEAM, leaded by Yikloong... The teammates consisted of 7 best futsal players of the year LOL... first and foremost, the captain Yikloong (defender), then the strikers JJ + Tiongbun (or YY?) + Kuekok with the defenders Pingy Ping + YongKiat, and last but not least the keeper Teckwei (me lorr hehehe)...

Other than the futsal gang, there is one new gang that I joined in year4, which erm... ji mui gang? perhaps... consists of the city tour gangs of Geh, Lag, Ju... Yea, since I m Peiseen's jie, "mou la la" I also become jie of them... One of the most unforgettable memory with them was the seremban mamak... and also the long long long dark road without any light... LOL... And because of them, I also got to know their housemates, including Ding, Xi, Bat...

So fast, 6 more days might be my last day in UTAR as a student. Conclusion, although UTAR didn't give me much uni life that I imagined before I entered it, I still enjoy my uni life... It would be my most enjoyable and unforgettable period... I hope that after this, all of us can still keep in touch, although with the primary and secondary school experiences, I knew that it is hard, and it is impossible to get everyone keep in contact. Even if we can still contact, but the relationship between us will be not as closed as now. I don't want to lose any one of you all... I do really appreciate the fate between us... A life is incomplete without friends... So, no matter what happened last time, that made us misunderstood on each other, any "cold war" or etc, forget about all of them...

Last but not least, I LOVE YOU ALL... and DON'T FORGET ME... Next time, if meet me somewhere else, don't just hi and bye, at least find out some coffeeshop and have a chat... Or even if don't meet me, you all will be also welcomed to give me a call, my handphone will on 24 hours for all of you...

(just now at 1U juz met one of my best friends during primary school... whom my friendship with him had became worsen already due to lack of contact since secondary school... i don't hope that it would happen again...)

五年@UTAR - Foundation篇

2011-04-30T19:56:00.000-07:00

Initially I planned to write in Chinese, but I lazy... =.="

Well, 9 days later will be my next paper on Wastewater Treatment, which will be also my last paper at UTAR, thereafter UTAR will be only my memory, not more my university.

As mentioned in the title, this blog will summarize my 5-year life at UTAR, from PJ campus to KL campus.

First of all, WHY would I choose UTAR? Is it really UTAR is MY CHOICE? Well, it was a long long long time ago... When I was in Form 5, I still blank of what should I choose for my future career. I don't have any ambition at all, except be a HOTEL TYCOON, and built the very 1st hotel at the MOON =.="""

That time, my 3rd sis, was also choosing for college and courses. Initially, she chose QS at TARC, but after that she changed to UCSI due to scholarship. That time, I started to know about the course of QS, quantity surveying.

Soon, I finished my SPM. Among all subjects I studied, MATHEMATICS and AD MATHS were my favourite, thus I wanted to choose some subject which related to math. I was told that QS was something about calculation only, thus it became one of my choice. Plus, my dad told me before that QS was quite a good choice, suggesting me to take it at UTAR. That time UTAR was still a new university and I heard that UTAR has most of Chinese, then sure a lot of pretty girls those thing, so UTAR became one of my choice. But still, I still look for other institute.

One day we played football, sitting beside the goal there with my schoolmate, Yeoh. He told me that there is one course named WHAT WHAT WHAT Science one, is related to maths, can earn a lot a lot of money, but that course was only offered oversea. Since it was related to maths, and able to earn a lot of money, I started my interest on this course. Few weeks later, perhaps, I heard about the actuarial science, then I knew that the course of WHAT WHAT WHAT Science was actually actuarial science. And, I was also informed that UTAR did started to promote this new course! That's really a good news for me that time. Thus, without any second thought, all four MONEY-EYE dermaian, me, ah miao, yiyan and lijong, decided to go UTAR to study foundation leading to the course of Actuarial Science.

Came to PJ, miao and I stayed at my aunty's house for few weeks before the room we rented get ready. Few weeks later, we moved to PJ sec17, then suddenly Lijong and WeiPei became our housemates and Yiyan became our neighbour. That time, I got to know Kinzai, Limpek, Cheeming, AhSiang, Waikeat, Yichuan who were our housemates from Pahang.

SECTION 17
In PJ, I had learned to yumcha at late night, I had learned to play DOTA... another memory at PJ that I can't forget was... playing gambling with housemates during CNY... (that time said CNY so play till 15th of CNY, then continued to play till the whole month of CNY.... then continued again to play till the end of the semester, which just stopped because we got to move to Setapak already =.=)

UTAR

UTAR = JAIL?

I still remember, the very first day at UTAR, we had to do Chemistry experiment and the report had to be submitted two weeks later. It was an experiment about penetration test, if not mistaken. I started to feel boring, because this did not give me any feel of uni life at UTAR as the first day got to write report already. I remembered that time, I told miao that we wanted to create a legend at UTAR, scored 4.0 or what... LOL

The 1st week at UTAR, since I kept on mixing with miao and yiyan only, thus having no chance to get know new friends. Thus, one day, I be the bad guy, leaving miao alone then tried to get new friends in my tutorial group. I knew I was bad that time, but I had to do so, otherwise both of us would be SOLO the whole year.

That year, I got to know pang, yuanbin, chuanyi, siangwei, siangkuak, alvin loh them, whom I mix the most with throughout my foundation year. I still remembered the moment we sat at the corridor outside PC lab there, scanning for the girls passing by us, and "spannar"? LOL

Although my tutorial group in foundation was not full of lenglui, our TD11 was one of the most famous class among other groups, due to our lovely courserep, who did bring a lawyer to sue the lecturer before, cheated us that the class was canceled and on the another side went to tell the lecturer that we wanted to cancel it, coupled with one of my classmate then broke up with him by passing his love letter around the lecture class...

Soon, semester 3, it was the time that we may change our mind on the course to be taken in our degree. I started to doubt on the future of actuarial science graduate, as I know that the demand in the market was not really high. Even if hired by company, the pay was also around 2000, as the very very high paid was only for those QUALIFIED ACTUARY. My lecturer told me, to get qualified, after graduate, we still have to sit for exam, still need to study everyday after work, which is the life that I don't want to have. Thus, I had made a decision, one of the biggest decision in my life, to CHANGE MY COURSE!

But what course to change? QS, ya... which was one of my choices previously. BUT, I was told by UTAR that UTAR QS was NOT accepting UTAR FOUNDATION STUDENTS, funny right? No choice, have to choose another else. Similarly, miao and siangwei were also influenced by me to change the course, and they changed to electronic engineering.

For me, before entering UTAR, I told myself, if I really choose engineering course, I will only choose E&E. Civil Engineering I heard about it before, but I heard that a lot people study it and it seem to be a course for not-so-good-result students to study. Thus, it was never be in my choices before. Even in my application forms to UTAR (we needed to fill in 5 choices of study), none of them is Civil Engineering.

HOWEVER.... maybe this was due to my last-time ambition of building hotels, or maybe this was because related to QS, or maybe this was because I heard from Yizhong that physics in course was all about forces, like what we studied in Form 4 Physics Chap2, 3 which were my favourite topics in physics that time... which made me at the end.... made another most important choice...

AND, finally, it became my course right now, CIVIL ENGINEERING... =.="

Rabbit Year 2011.

2011-01-31T23:58:00.000-08:00

Today, again, I am home alone. Everyone is back to hometown and preparing for CNY. Facebook is fulled of the post of my friends about reaching their hometown and asking for their hometown friends for gathering. Ya, my friends asked me for gathering too. But, I don't join them, as I am still here, at KL.

Yesterday had a dinner with Meisze at Sky Restaurant. The first time the restaurant is so empty during dinner time. Usually this time, wanna find a table also quite difficult. But now, is totally different. No much students around, other customers are all adults or families, except both of us. But Meisze claimed that she is already working, not more student.

This year is the first year I back to hometown on CNY eve, although all my classes in this week are canceled. Alone at home, have nothing to do. Facebook, no much people update already, even MSN also quite quiet.

Two more days is the CNY already, the year of rabbit. Rabbit is my sister's chinese horoscope. But she is not here with us this year, celebrating the CNY with her friends at UK. First time celebrating CNY without her, surely have some weird feeling.

But anyway, tiger year is going to end soon, although I have really no feeling of CNY now. Recall back this whole year of tiger, or year of 2010. It was a "special" year for me. A lot of thing happen, especially at the end of the year. I can't say that it was a good year, but I can't say that it was a bad one, too. In this year, I had joined the organization of the ball night, and everyone seem enjoy it. I had organized the Redang trip to create a sweet memory among friends, especially those who already graduated. I had represented university for the competition and got champion. I had known many new friends and they are all good friends for me. Sounds all are good things happened around me right? I think so, if the thing never happen. However, I believe that everything happen for a reason, challenges is not to get us down, but is to train us and change us to be a better one.

Finally, wish everyone, of course, including me, have a happy chinese new year. Gong Xi Fa Cai, everything go smooth and most important, have a good health.

新年快乐。。。

AUBBC 2010

2010-10-12T04:49:00.000-07:00

What is AUBBC?

Well, AUBBC stands for Asian Universities Build-and-Break Competition. It is an annual event that is organized by IStructE and UNITEN, in which the participants will be given a time limit to construct a structure with the materials provided and then break the structure by adding load onto it. The lightest structure which is broken by the heaviest load will win the competition. Thus, the competition will be judged by the ratio of load/self-weight.

This was my 2nd time to join this competition. Last year, Richard, Peter, Yizhong, Lianwei and me, together with another team of seniors represented UTAR in this competition. Luckily, we didn't lose that time, why? The reason that caused us not lose that competition was... we get disqualified in aspect of the dimension required, disqualified not equal to lose, I guess.. lol

Still remember last year???

The very "cute" cantilever structure that constructed by us last year XD

The breakfast given by us last year... seem pity right? lol

After one year, which was after the final examination last semester, 2/10/2010. Initially, I was quite regret for registering this competition, because I missed a part-time job for the whole week which can let me earn rm100/day due to this competition. And, in my mind, I joined this competition was merely for fun only because honestly, I believed that to win this competition is totally impossible.

That morning, we gathered at UTAR on about 7am. The participating teams from UTAR included our team (me, yizhong, richard, lianwei and koksheng) and another team of hueixing. Upon reaching there, heard that Steven absent for the competition and to be replaced by Chongyang. That time there is a thought in my mind... "aiyo, if I know that can find replacement, I can go for the part-time job already!! ><" But, everything was too late already.

Soon, we reached UNITEN by UTAR bus. The leading lecturer was Dr Jeffrey, our... erm... lovely... lecturer in Stuctural class last semester LOL.

Upon reaching UNITEN, this lecturer keep using his status in structural engineer field to search and try to ask for the question from his engineer friends who involve in organizing the competition. But after that, he was very disappointed to tell us that he failed to get the question as all his friends said that they didn't know the question also lol.

Then we were asked by Dr Jeffrey to do a quite "siasui-ing" action in the competition venue in front of other competitors from other universities. He asked us to hold the UTAR flag and took a group photo in front of the stage. It was really O.M.G to do this in front of so many people. So, we did it fast and get back to seat fast also hahaha.

This time the competition venue is still the same, unless the space given for each group was smaller, because the participating teams were increasing, from 30+ last year to 55 this year. And, there were 5 teams from oversea countries, which were 1 from National Taiwan University, 1 from China Tongji University, 2 from National University Singapore, and another from Nanyang Technology University, Singapore. The oversea participants also increased if compared to last year which had only one oversea team that came from Singapore.

The competition was started from 11am until 1.30pm. In this two and half hours, we were given "lidi", satay sticks, masking tapes, thread, scissors, pencil, erasers, papers and a hook. And after blow water, construct, and finish the structure in two and half hours, we had our lunch. During the construction, there was a judge, whom we called him as Dr Ooi, because he quite look alike Dr Ooi who taught us Fluid Mechanics I last time, always talked to us and comment on our structure. He seems like not confident in our structure and said "Do you all know how an arc works? Ok, then you all will see why I say so." But at the end, he did really helped us on improving our structure that he asked us try to press on the loading point and see which was the weak part to be improved.

After the competition, I took the chance to capture few pictures of structures built by other teams. Of course, the first one is our team product, which is a lot nicer than last year "cute" cantilever LOL.

Ours~~~!

NTU, Singapore

NTU, Taiwan

This should be from Tungji, China, I forget already ><

When we were having our lunch, the judges were measuring the dimension of the structures and deciding which teams to be qualified. After lunch, that was the loading session. Team by team was asked to take their structure to the stage and loaded with a pail filled by stones. Only the qualified teams will be asked (Last year our team was not called the name, so indicating disqualified). But this year, before all the qualified teams going up to the stage, the emcee also announced the groups that qualified. We were damn scaring and worrying that the same thing will happen again, which is DISQUALIFIED. But luckily, 43 UTAR, this number was called!! we were quite happy and I still joking with my friends that I will have to save my camera battery so that it can still be used when we got prize... they said I thought too much already LOL...

The load testing session was going on. It was tested by hanging a plastic pail on the hook placed on the structure, and filling it by tiny stones until it failed. Then the pail together with the tiny stones was weighed and obtained the failing load. The structure itself was also weighed before loaded in order to obtain its self-weight. The highest ratio of load/self-weight would be the champion. While the testing went on, there was a team performing very good, because normally other teams just used one pail, but they used two! Their failing load was one and half full pail of stones. Similarly, that time, I also jokingly discussed with my teammates on how should us hang the second pail if we succeeded LOL.

Our team was called to go up to the stage then. Before we wanted to test, the judges around directly asked us to put the 1kg-steel weight into the pail, and just continued to fill it with stones. I was so worrying that it will fail as I was the one to hold the pail that time. But the judges around asked us not to worry, just fill the pail till full. Finally, we finished filling the whole pail, taking out the stones, filled it again with all the steel weight. It was still not yet failed. We reached the second pail! And we were asked not to use stones but directly use the steel. Similarly two pails were full! Finally, the judges brought a long hook for us to hang all the weights. And again, the area can be used to hang the weights all was finished. That time, the judges said a sentence "now, we meet a problem, we have not enough load!".

We were then asked not to delay the time, and asked to bring our structure down of the stage first. After all other teams finish testing, we got to test it again. End up, our structure was failed at the weight of about 11kg, which the ratio was 20.8.

It was really an unforgettable moment for everyone of us. We finally won a well-known competition in civil engineering field and it was the second time for UTAR civil engineering to win prize in competition. First is the Nehemiah Competition which is nationwide and second is this AUBBC which is Asian-wide!!

We were quite proud of this winning because we were not just lucky to win a bit compared with others, but we won quite far away from others! For information, the first runner-up (2nd place) got the ratio of 13+!!! It was really a meaningful moment for everyone of us, including our lecturer, who in his email to other lecturers stating that "I am proud to say that they (referring to us) are my student in structural class this semester." XD

Final Year Project a.k.a. FYP

2010-10-12T03:33:00.000-07:00

Today, I am at Kangar, Perlis. Ya, I am having my holiday, or semester break now, from 26/9 until 17/10/2010. This indicates that I have completed my UTAR degree year 4 sem 1. This was definitely a tough and busy semester. I believe that my friends around can sense it too. I joined less activities this semester, I seldom hang out with them this semester. Why was I so busy? 1st, the most important one, my final year project, or it is usually called as FYP, which caused quite a headache for me the whole semester, and I guess that this headache will continue until I finish my whole degree.

As mentioned in previous post, my title for FYP was "Microstructural behavior of lightweight foam concrete". In this project, the instruments that initially required were quite high-tech one, and of course, the price of the instrument were also very high $$$$$. One of the instruments, which was the most important one, was named as SEM - Scanning Electron Microscope , and the another was XRD - X-ray Deflectometry (the name I not sure correct or not lol). According to my lecturer, these instrument costs about hundred thousands, and UTAR have acquired the XRD last semester, while the SEM will be reaching UTAR by end of this year also. Because of this FYP, Sintat and me, both had attended a so-called training or I think it is more to briefing of the XRD. However, after that I had told by the lecturer that we may not use that instrument already because he has to be around us whenever we use that instrument, so it would be quite troublesome. Besides, the SEM also the same. Thus, end up, we will only use an optical microscope for this FYP. Well, this indicates that our title was totally different from the initial one, from microscopic behavior to air-void characteristic =.="

However, this is still a quite tough project, of course, because if it is easy, it is not more FYP, rite? Below will show some of the photo for my FYP... and they are more to the photos of concrete casting...
Well, we are planning to do the research for the concrete until the age of 6months. That caused us being so damn busy the whole semester because we have to complete the 6-month sample preparation before September, otherwise, we will not possible to finish it next year. That was really a great relieve after all the samples were completed. What came next was the 1st submission of report, i.e. first three chapters of the FYP reports. Everyone started to do it quite early, and that's the actual way. But me? started to do it on week 13, almost week 14 =.= Luckily, it can be completed on the due date/time. I write it here "on" not "before" because the deadline was on 5pm, Monday, and I really submit it on that time, 5pm!!

Then, the next day was the presentation of the FYP. It can be said as the presentation of mine in degree with which I most satisfy XD

End of the presentation means that we have to face the final examination. Although the subjects in this semester were all sucks, all of them were over now!! :)

This was the "cute" cartoon, I guess that I created and put it in my FYP presentation as the introduction for the problem statement, cute right? lol

2010-08-23T02:00:00.001-07:00

Weekend of WEEK 12 is ended. Don’t know why, this semester pass till very fast, fast till a bit too fake already. All of my coursemates feel that too. WHY? Is it normal feeling for a final year student? I just remember this semester has just started not long ago. It is started by a May Intake, and I was attending the orientation.

It is followed by icebreaking, city tour, and festival. Yaa, FEStival! It is a so-called last event in our term of being SRC. FEStival= a campus carnival which was just prepared everything by us in 19 days… ya, 19 days, which is NINE-TEEN! Although it was not as happening, as success, as the FEStival in my mind, it was a great job for all of us!

Well, since it is a final year for us, we have to do a project in order for us to be awarded the degree. This project has a name which u will never guess, the name of this so-great project is… known as final year project. What a good name ya? So, in my so called fyp (final year project), I have chosen a title by a lecturer of a subject in my course… I still remember, I choose the title is based on the lecturer. Well, some lecturers I have no interest on them, since they are some not as nice as we know them. Some lecturers are nice, but I have no interest on their subject. Although the subject of the title I choose is not really my interest also (actually I don’t know I have interest which subject in this civil engineering also… seem all also very boring =.= except, maths, maybe…) I choose this subject, concrete technology, because of my future career, maybe. Since I will be working in IJM, which is a construction company, it is beneficial for me to know more on the building material, rather than the design thing, which is not the scope of a contractor. Besides, IJM has a concrete factory as well. So, taking this title, may give me another path after my graduation, rather than just working at construction site. So, I choose CONCRETE.

So, what title have i chosen? Microstructure Behavior of Light Weight Foam Concrete. It seem like very PRO rite? Actually the scope, as the name, is just study the microstructure of the concrete. But, u think to study the microstructure easy? >.<>

And thus, the nightmare begins…

OK, don’t talk about those sad things already. Let’s talk about this weekend. 21^st and 22^nd of August, the days of which I initially want to go for a camp, Famine 30. I have taken the form from friend and promised that I will be going to help on the camp. But, when I know the date, I returned the form to him. It is not because of assignment, not because of test, or anything, but it is because of someone, someone I have known for 15 years, Khoo Yi Yan. She warned, erm… not warn laa I think, is invite or welcome me to go for her convocation of degree which drop on 22^nd!!! So, what to do? One is a famine 30, which is a camp that I wanna go, another is the once-in-life convocation of my best friend of 15 years. No choice, I sacrifice the camp.

So, without going camp, that was what my activities for this Saturday and Sunday. Saturday, I woke up, not long after that, go to uni, to sieve sand for my project. Initially, I thought it would not be so tough, as I decided to use the machine. So, I brought my mp3, bought a Sinchew, planned to go lab, let the machine do eveythg, and I read newspaper and listen to mp3 alone. Who know, reaching there, I found that the machine plug is broken! WTF!!!> <>

Until 4pm, i stopped the sieving job, coz the sand is finished and thus I start to refill the sand from oven. After that refill the sand in oven from outside… When I move the sand from outside to the lab, there is a slope… and I was focusing on moving the sand and the slope was too steep, the trolley was lost of control and I fell into the longkang ><>

OK… what a pity day. I was quite pissed off of my life that time. 4.45pm, the lab was closing, and I have finished my refilling job. Thus, I went to DK there looking for any bus. I saw the bus uncle for genting klang, so it means that there will be bus at 5.15pm… OK, since I was passing by him, I just saja asked him…

”uncle, sat lagi pukul lima ada bus kan?”

“tak tau, tengok dulu lar… kalau ada orang, jalan la. Takda, tak jalan lor… kalau satu orang saja tak akan jalan la…”

“apa?! Satu orang tak jalan?!”

“tak boleh la… nanti bos marah lor..u panggil laa kawan kwan u mai”

“saya mai buat lab saja, saya seorang saja. Ok, kamu mau berapa orang baru jalan?”

“kurang kurang pun empat lima lar..bos saya marah saya lorr dulu sebab bawa seorang saja, dia kata petrol mahal”

“bos kamu sapa?”

“itu Kampar punya” (smiling there, but eye not looking at me)

“Kampar kampar lar, sini Klang Valley maa. Bukan Kampar yang control.. Bos kamu PJ sana ar? Saya mau complain sudah lor.. mana ada kata seorang tak bawa punya. Kalau tak jalan, saya Monday pergi dsa complain u punya bos. Itu tugas kamu semua maa, mana ada kata petrol punya” (i reli wanna beh tahan ady)

“tengok dulu lar… nanti baru mari la”

“ok, nanti pukul lima saya mari ar… kalau tak jalan, ari isnin saya mesti pi complain punya”

Finally... 5.10pm, it was really me alone only… and the bus departed… guess that he worried on being complained already… it should be himself lazy, didn’t want to fetch me, but all push to his boss..

OK, Sunday… yan convo… aiz… time really pass very very fast. I still can remember the day, we came to UTAR at PJ together… She came 1st with her family, and I went with my family… I at IKEA there that time and she phoned me, asking where I rent my room… and not long later, she said to me tat she rent room at the same row with me also…

We 4 ppl came to UTAR that time. Me, miao, yan and lijong… 4 of us came for taking the course of actuarial science. But, end up, just yan alone succeed to fulfill this dream… Me and miao had changed course before entering our degree… I change to civil engineering, and miao changes to EEE, and then change to KDU Penang somemore. Lijong and yan enter AS, but end of 2^nd sem, jong change to KDU accounting pulak… The days at PJ is still vivid in my mind… I still remember the 1^st mid term test in my UTAR life is computer studies. Then the 1^st mid term that I worry in UTAR is Physics1… all of us scare of the subject. Tat day, I still told yan tat nvrmind la… in our life, sure hv to fail once de maa… have to experience the feeling of failing in test. LOL. But luckily lar, we passed ^^

So, fast… yan graduate already. Miao also finish his studies already. While lijong is going to graduate also end of this year, I think. Just leave me alone… who is still studying at UTAR.. aiz… But studying life is enjoying, compared to working life, I know… if without exam, test, report, assignment, then the studying life is the greatest one!!

One more semester, my degree life is going to end. I know, I will surely miss my uni life after that. Sob~

Weekend of WEEK 12

2010-08-23T01:50:00.000-07:00

And thus, the nightmare begins…

”uncle, sat lagi pukul lima ada bus kan?”

“tak tau, tengok dulu lar… kalau ada orang, jalan la. Takda, tak jalan lor… kalau satu orang saja tak akan jalan la…”

“apa?! Satu orang tak jalan?!”

“tak boleh la… nanti bos marah lor..u panggil laa kawan kwan u mai”

“saya mai buat lab saja, saya seorang saja. Ok, kamu mau berapa orang baru jalan?”

“kurang kurang pun empat lima lar..bos saya marah saya lorr dulu sebab bawa seorang saja, dia kata petrol mahal”

“bos kamu sapa?”

“itu Kampar punya” (smiling there, but eye not looking at me)

“tengok dulu lar… nanti baru mari la”

“ok, nanti pukul lima saya mari ar… kalau tak jalan, ari isnin saya mesti pi complain punya”

One more semester, my degree life is going to end. I know, I will surely miss my uni life after that. Sob~

A very SUI day...

2010-08-05T05:03:00.000-07:00

I never thought that I will have such a day in my university life...well, although I got a little bit exaggerate...

Today, 5/8/2010. I having class on 10am, but I and Sintat already decided to meet each other at 9 today as we would continue our FYP concrete casting. Yes, we are in final year already NOW... a year that is not sweet at all, and FYP is not a good thing at all.....

(Let's make some intro about my FYP, the only final year project, in my life... as to complete my degree in Civil Engineering... It is a project about studies on micro-structure behavior of light weight form concrete...means, basically the steps are... to cast some concrete, if not mistaken should be 140+, then wait for some days, longest is 180 days, leave it there, and crush it using an apparatus...Then, get the strength of it and take some sample of the concrete pieces to study its microstructure using some very expensive instrument... This FYP is tough coz microstructure is something quite detail about material and quite advance study...besides, it requires our hard works on not only studies, and also the real HARD WORK... means u will definitely get sweat and tired after the lab...cause we need to play with cement, sand, water and our hand, clothes will surely get dirty!!!)

OK... let's continue on my pitiful story today.. Although we decided to meet at 9am.. i was just woke up by a phone call on 9.30am. Thus, I rushed very quickly to uni by METRO bus... which i didn't pay for it at all, since the bus feler din ask it from me wad =P
So, end up i reached lab at 10am.

Upon reaching lab, the so-called good senior just finish casting his concrete cubes... OK, because we still have some mold for our concrete. Thus, we started our works by preparing the mold, using spanner, screw etc.. Finally, 8 molds were prepared. We planned to do 8 cubes today.

(Did u noticed that we start our work at 10, on the time which we should be in the class? LOL)

OK... then we also decided to use the orange mixing machine to mix our concrete. But... when we wanna use it... WTH!!! the internal of the mixer was so damn dirty... The so-called senior didn't really wash and clean it after using it just now!!! Really WTF~! So, we spent about half an hour on cleaning the mixer...

Everything done.. and we start our concrete mixing... Everythg seem smoothly... and we adding form into the concrete mixture.. (for info, form is added to concrete so to produce bubble inside the concrete as to make it lighter, thus it is called lightweight form concrete) Our target is 1300kg/m3... Well, we already tried mix it in smaller volume before. So, we approximately know how much form we needed. So, we added 2% inside.... and mix mix mix... OPPS! HOW COME IT FELT SO LIGHT ONE!!!! OMG!!! and we measured, ~1000+ kg/m3 =.=
So, what to do? we sadly... move the mixer to the grass area there... and throw all the concrete mix, our baby, to the grass area there... 8kg cement, 8kg sand which we collected quite a long time... were wasted... We ady started to feel disappointed... And the sky was so damn suit our feeling. IT RAINED... ya... it rained when we were cleaned the mixer, for the 2nd time, after we throw out our concrete. Cleaning the instrument and machine under rain, cool rite? ><

OK, 1st case gone....

Ya... when i was preparing the material... particularly water... when I squatted, my jeans felt like in tension, and suddenly "pliakkkk", my jeans broke...somewhere at my leg there.... so damn sui, dunno why....

OK, we were still not giving up.... But, we decided to cast the cubes in 2 times. 4 cubes + 4 cubes...After preparing all the material needed, we put the heavy mixer container to the machine there, and on it. Guess what, BLARRR BLARR BLARRR!!! DON'T KNOW which stupid feler went touched and adjust that mixer speed to highspeed!!!! and it caused the concrete mix all splashed out of the container. Sintat who on the mixer switch was the victim, his pants and shirt were splashed by the concrete also. It was a really OMG... the floor... also full of concrete. And thus, what to do? This meant that we failed again, and we have to throw and waste our 4kg sand + 4 kg cement AGAIN~! Sadly, we throw the cement n sand away, and continued the next trial....

Preparing evything. And we made sure the machine speed was in the correct position. We on the motor. Adding the foam and everything seem nice. But, how come the concrete felt so nothing! It seem like weightless AGAIN... OK, weighing it first, Sintat somemore wanted to cheat ourselves by putting more volume of concrete as more than 1Litre. But still, the concrete density was just around 1000+ only... Meant, we need to throw all these away again...

THUS, WE WORKED FOR THE WHOLE DAY... AND WHAT WE GET? WE GET TO WASTE A TOTAL OF 16KG CEMENT and 16KG SAND!!!!!! AND WE GAVE UP...

Few hours later, i called the Kaspersky guy, who promised me a job during pc fair, asking him about the dress code for working. Guess what he told me? He said he never promised me, and said he just told me that he will check the availability of the job without promising me anything, sweat. I called him few times before, 1st time, he asked me confirm or not that i can work, i said ok, then he said no problem also. 2nd time, i asked him is it confirm tat i will work already, he said YA, and said me alone only should be no problem, then said will contact me again since he was busy that time. OK, and now he just said a sorry to me. WTF~!

OK... forget it... i was truly tired the whole day. And, after dinner, i was sleeping from 8pm till the next day, which was just now, 8am.... ya, i slept for 12hrs... =.="

Since I don't work for pc fair already. I think I will continue do my FYP lab today. And hope that everything can really run smoothly and NO MORE WASTAGE ON MY DEAREST CEMENT AND SAND ANYMORE PLEASE~!! T.T

A summary of previous events and Kite Story..

2010-07-19T13:37:00.000-07:00

It is a dark night. I m now at Bkt Jalil, my sisters' house. A house that gives me a feeling of family at KL, coz all my siblings are staying here. (or i can say, all my sisters laR)

Why will i come over here today? altho it is a monday? this is coz my cute sister bday on the nex day. So my eldest sister planned with me to give her a surprise, coz the bday sis will nver guess tat i will appear at her house to celebrate with her.
(for ur info, according to her, the prev 2 years i also fgt abt her bday and wished her BELATED bday on 21st instead of 20th, lol)

Erm, reli quite a long time i din update my blog ady... Altho quite a lot thg happen around me these months. I felt like blogging all the time, but... laziness, u win lar... hehe

Well, these months, I have joined a lot of activities... 1st, the Redang trip (16-19/5/10)... It was my vy first time in my life to see such a nice and pretty beach. Altho the sea was reli polluted, corals were mostly dead. But i still luv the place a lot! However, since it was organized by the traveler's den and incharged by me, i was not reli fully enjoy myself tat time. Many unexpected thg happen which had spoiled my mood tat time. Lost of participants' belongings, 2-hours late of bus driver, injury of sum participants etc etc... had made me headache all the time. It reli tested my responsibility for the whole trip. Anyway, evythg was solved, the loss of money of the participants was refund by the resort management, evy1 was quite enjoy for the trip. Seeing the participants enjoy is the greatest happiness to the organizer. Altho the bus driver was actualy late for abt 2-3 hrs when we wanna go bek KL, the participants were so understanding and din blame me at all... we summore together in the bus complaining abt the bus driver ^^ After reaching KL, the trip was ended by a McD set for all the participant FOC! which was actualy not in our planning b4 tat!

Tis is my last organized trip throughout my whole uni life, i guess. and i reli thx evy1 who made tis trip a success! Organize a trip is not difficult, but to organize an affordable yet enjoyable trip is reli hard... so, who said RM300+ cant go to Redang?! we proved tat it is wrong! for ur info, our redang trip is cost RM340! including resorts, meals at Redang, 1 t-shirt, 3 packs of snacks, 2 mineral waters, 2 breads, Kurnia personal accident insurance, bus transport for two ways and last but not least, a set of McD!!! it sounds unbelievable? but it is true!

after the trip, i hav joined a camp (28-30/5/10)... my 1st camp after secondary skul... as a participant lar... well, it is a camp introduced by jingying, my kindergarten + secondary skul fren. This camp is organized by YMM and participated by uni/college students from Malaysia and China. The main objective of tis camp is to get know abt chinese of both diff countries. Tis is reali a great experience of mine... coz of tis camp, i get to knw quite a lot of china frens. i get to experience their lifestyle and get to knw more detail abt china. guess wat, most of the china ppl shower together in the bathroom! yaa, w/o any clothes!

another event of mine, is the FEStival 2010. Tis is an event which was planned las semester. the orgnizing committee was formed las sem. but there is no meeting at all since then. evy1 thought tat it will be canceled, coz lack of time. according to prev committee experience, they nid abt 3 months to organize such event. however, we dun wan to cancel it, coz it is jz like an anual event of our campus ady, since two years ago... we dun wan tis to stop coz of us. so, we insist to continue the event, even if it is a small one.. we meeting with the DSA... we went to find sponsorships.. and finally we success to make it (23/6/10)! and it was not a small one! sum even said tat it was greater than the previous year... for me, erm, it may be better, but i think it is a great one ady, since it was an event which we used 19 days to prepare it, including meeting, sponsorship, program etc... gud job for all the committee!

and yaa... forget abt the city tour 6/6/2010... yaa... tis my 2nd time to join city tour... the oldest ever participant for city tour, erm.. i guess.... evy1's student ID was start with 10xxxxx or the committee was start on 09xxxxx but mine... 07xxxxx >.< No choice, sobsob, who asked me go to put my didi on the table to ask her be the chairperson lorr... but nvm lar... i din look old at all rite? :P anyway, it was another great experience for me!

well, time reli wait for no man... vy fast, it is ady week 8 for tis "new" semester... altho it is week 8 ady, but it still seem "NEW" to me... and quite alot of thg happen in these weeks... frens relationship problem... fren's relationship, it seems like not reli related to me rite? but, that frens are both my good frens.. and i hv 2 tek the responsibility of frens to console both of them.. i din even expect tat they would break up.. it reli prove tat nothg is imposible...

Love? wat is it actualy? two persons who loved each other b4 can becum strangers suddenly after they break up... it sounds cruel rite? It made me feel tat it is jz friendship can reli last long, but the probability for relationship to last long is reli an unknown...

recently, my didi told me a story abt kite...playing kite reli have to be skillful... we nid to release sumtime and nid to grab tight sumtime... well, i admit tat i m not a great kite player... since i not reli gud in playing kite since i was small... altho i played few times with andy, miao, chai them at the paddy field there larrr during secondry skul... perhaps, getting a kite is not hard, but to get a suitable kite is reli hard... i dun like the feeling of simply get a kite and play it... mayb, sumtime a kite will fly to us by themselves, sum ppl will grab it and play it until they find another more suitable kite and throw the old one away. There was once a kite fly to me also, and it reli attracted me to grab it tat time, but very soon, once i nearly grab it, i felt it was not the kite i want, the feeling tat the kite give me is not the one i m looking for. Thus, i decided to release my hand, and let it go... i know, altho it is not the kite i m looking for, it might be a great kite for another person...So, evybody, if u r looking for a kite, please choose it carefully.. A suitable kite may last forever. And, if u ady own a kite, please appreciate it, tek gud care of it and love it...

Anyway, again... Dear Fi~ Happy Birthday!!

原来晚安不可随便说...（曾经，我也试过。。。但过去了，该放下了）

2010-03-28T00:30:00.000-07:00

你有和喜欢的人聊到很晚的经历么？
你有和他说完晚安才关机睡觉的习惯么？
那么我告诉你关于晚安的秘密！
有一天，天堂放假，一个天使来到人间，为了化解自己的无聊，
对一个女孩说，我可以实现你一个愿望，权利，金钱，美貌，爱情……
女孩想得很认真，天使有些害怕，如果她说一些他实现不了的愿望，会很没面子。
总之一定要让她看到天使是多么厉害，我要她崇拜我，我要让她感激我。
“我想每天睡前都能听到你对我说晚安！”
天使惊讶于如此简单的愿望，忽然有一种大材小用的感慨。“好，这很容易！”
天使根本没有多想，就如此轻易的答应了。
女孩也就欢欣雀跃，满心期待着愿望一天一天实现。
晚上，在qq上，天使对女孩说：“晚安！”还画了一个“：*”，说这是给她的晚安kiss。
女孩也就满足的睡去，梦都散发着甜甜的味道。
也偶尔，网关断了，天使也会打个电话给她，对她说晚安，并在电话的另一端亲她的额头，祝她好梦。
不知是从何时开始，天使要开始忙自己的事情了，
他或许是太忙了，连说晚安的时间都没有了。
于是，每天晚上，女孩都满怀期待的等着自己的晚安，
却每晚都在失落中入睡，梦里，
女孩站在远远的地方，看着忙碌的天使，
他或许忙得忘记了晚安的约定，
或许等他有空了，他会把亏欠的晚安都补给她。
最终，天使忙得都忘记了女孩，终于永远的飞走了，带着那许多亏欠的晚安。
很久之后，天堂放假的日子，一大群天使来到人间，
他们问女孩，我们可以每人帮你实现一个愿望，权利，金钱，美貌，爱情……
女孩却没有说出自己的愿望，
她知道，这是个简单到无法实现的愿望，
哪怕是天使，也不能。
真正的天使其实是这个女孩子自已的本身而晚安只是告诉你, 我会想你！
晚安：wan an！把这个词的中文拼音拆开晚安的拼音wan an，
每一个字母都代表一个字就是Wo Ai Ni,Ai Ni——我爱你，爱你！
如果你知道了这个秘密，那么请你：以后聊天后，不要忘了和他说一声：晚安！
有个朋友告诉我，在她的生命中曾经有一份最真挚的感情，没有火花，没有表白，没有交往……她只是在心里默默的爱着一个她认为值得她爱的人，尽管对方已心有所属。
她告诉我，每天睡觉前，她会想他一遍，然后，以朋友的身份跟他说一声“晚安”……于是，我心血来潮，也有了要说“晚安”的冲动，对那个也是我认为的最值得我爱的人

男生的爱只有一次

2010-03-26T06:16:00.001-07:00

男生的爱只有一次，
每一个男生都是这样，
他可以对每个女生说“我爱你”，
但他一辈子只会真正爱上一个人，
只有一个。

女生需要的是一个关怀她，爱她，
可以让她依靠，
保护她的人，
当她遇到一个男生时，
爱的死去活来，山盟海誓。

然后因为种种原因的分开，
她不会再记得他，或者说不会记得那么深刻。

因为当她遇到一个更好的男生时，
她会拿两个人来比较，她会觉得遇到更好的是她的幸运。

但男生不是这样，
当他爱上一个女生，
真真正正的爱，
他不会再爱上任何一个人。

当这段感情失败后，
他会把这段记忆放在心里，
把这个女生放在心底。

原来一个男生可以把很多女生放在心里，
但一辈子只有一个女生可以在他心底。

无论他以后会跟再多的女生相处，
他都会清楚的知道，自己最爱的是谁。
无论以后他遇到的女生多么优秀，他也不会改变。

因为他心底的女生是他的支柱，
他不会用她和任何一个人相比，
他认为这种比较是愚蠢的，
他一辈子只会爱她一个。

放在心底的女生，永远的傷痕。

每個男生都是爱面子的，
也许他平时会活的很潇洒，
但在一个人孤独的时候，
会放下所有的尊严，
最后，想哭的就放声痛哭吧！唯獨思念唯一一的她……

frens... and time...

2010-02-16T12:04:00.001-08:00

is FOREVER FRIEND really exist in this world?

i doubt of this statement...

well... i hv experienced few of it... in my primary skul, i had few gud frens (i think i treat them as gud frens... n they did oso)... but then in the secondary skul, we entered the diff skul... altho both skuls are actually not located far away frm each oth... we seldom meet and day after day, the frenship now no more...even met at street, the most oso jz a simply "hi"...

in my secondary skul.. well, i hv sum num of gud frens also... i still rmbr we went to the graduation trip... the last day quite sum of the fren were crying... worrying tat after leaving the skul, we would start forgetting abt each other... since we experienced it for the primary skul... we even predicted b4 tat, nex time we would meet each other at sumwhere, then jz smile n hv nth to say... it is jz weird, ya, the time is cruel, it may change anythg...

but luckily, we hv proven tat our frenships are strong enuf to fight with the cruel of time... at least, until now, 4 years, we still can keep in touch... altho our frenship reli would been affected a little bit...

well... how abt u? u shud knw tat i hv reli tried a lot to let us to be as fren as last time... but, maybe it is jz nth for u... frenship btw us, is actualy nth... mayb, i was nvr considered as a gud fren, evythg is jz me "imagine" alone... ya, i hv a gud imagination... @@ even a gudbye, i oso been waiting for it... but i couldnt get it... i knw, the thg hv been changed...

there is one sentence i read b4... "sum ppl no nid to say gud bye, coz they are jz pass by..."
maybe i m jz a passby-er in ur life.. and u too...

well, evythg is jz depends on fate... we can do nth... fate, let us meet. fate, let us becum fren. and now fate, seperate us... and wat will fate change on us? we can jz wait n see for it..

anyway, no matter anythg happen in future, i will not forget any of u... coz i truely treat u all as my gud frens..

10 February 2010

2010-02-09T11:47:00.001-08:00

First and foremost, in the beginning, i wanna wish two of my gud frens, minghooi n khenghooi, a very very happy birthday for their 22 year old and 21 year old...

minghooi, i tried to fon u jz now but u din answer me.. i guess, u slept ady rite? quite a long time no contact with u ady.. mayb u ady forget abt me? @@ anyway, i dun think so la... knw u since standard 1 or 2 ady... u impossible to forget me as well.. we used to be so fren, argue, "gay" etc b4.. rite? anyway, hope can see u again la in this coming cny holiday..

khenghooi, tis feler i knw coz of WFC May 2009... tat time i still duno who is khenghooi actualy.. jz knw tat u r wfc stage manager.. but since entering src, i knw u better lor.. n knw tat u are quite a fei person oso... hehe..

Well, today... no i shud said yesterday, coz ady over 12am ady... was not a gud day.. but actualy the recent days also not...

argueing btw frens.. misunderstanding.. n also sum of the childish mind of sum1... i dunno why there is a person who cannot think for other ppl.. jz thinking of own advantage... i can understnd if it is a kid.. but it is not.. mayb the sum1 is jz playful, ya.. a playful fren is a great one, but in doing the important thg or serious thg, jz hope tat evy1 will reli serious on it... not reli serious la, but at least, see the problem/issue from evyone's view.. hv to think for other oso..

for example, yaa, the car parking in the campus, there are a lot of my frens complaint abt it... "u all no do work one ar... my course even 1 car park oso dn get it.." come on... it is the carpark open for whole campus student knw.. the whole campus got 3000+ students, 1000 apply, n jz 130 get it... jz think, if u get the carpark, other ppl oso will complain oso rite... jz not to think abt own ok? it is randomly picked by the computer n this is the fairest choice for the limited space of carpark... we can do nth... except those staying nearer one, please, dun apply for the car park, utilise the public/uni bus, giv the chances of car park for those ppl staying further..ok?

but, i dun think tat those "drivers" will think like tis..

ok, the nex thg... sumtime we hv to aware of our own mistake... try to look ourselves from 3rd party view... try to think, if i was jz an outsider n got other ppl behave like me, what would i think... will i agree with him? or will i dulan him?

Fren? wat is a fren? ya, fren is the one tat will offer us help whenever we nid... n oso the one we will help them whenever they need us... fren no nid a lot of chatting... but it is understanding..
but, if a fren claimed tat he/she is ur fren, but he/she nvr thinking of ur side... n nvr understnd abt the condition... how would it be?

cny is coming... i still rmbr last time maybe few years ago, there is an tv advertisment abt cny... it goes like tis... a family are eating with the table is full... but there are new ppl coming, so how? ya, they jz add the chairs n let them join the dinner...

i heard sum1 said b4, chinese table vy nice, compared to western rectangle table... n i think it is true oso... coz the chinese round table, there is no restriction on hw many ppl can enter it.. as long as it can be fitted... but the rectangle table, it is a rectangle one... those who sit at the corner, is vy weird n will feel like being ignored and there is no any "qin qie gan"...

the previous two paragraphs show tat i wont hv any comment of a full table with extra no matter hw many person... as long as everyone hv the space... sit nearer, maa got more mesra niaa lor... as we celebrated my coursemate koksheng bday, imagine, our table with abt 13 ppl... n dongjing table is not tat big oso... but, fren maa... wat the problem...

but, fren is fren.. and when doing the decision of sum important issue.. which would relate to other parties.. we cant juz judge sumthg or decide sumthg coz of the word fren... we hv to be fair to evy1... n i hope tat evy1 will understd abt it...

recently jz watched a video quite meaningful...
try to imagine, if let u enter a jungle full of danger, and u are allowed to bring one animal, which one will u giv up 1st (arrange in order from the 1st u will giv up til the last one to be wit u)?

Tiger, peacock, dog, elephant, n monkey...

what will u all choose??

my 1st time watch the video, i choose peacock, ya... coz it is useless for me... i admit tat... n i knw tat i made the wrong decision... y? try to check it out urself...

jz nw IJM QS Tan phoned me to ask abt futsal... but i rejected him coz having steamboat with utar staff... erm.. thn he told me tat my supervisor will go to india nex month... go there for working... erm... hope tat he will success n fulfil his dream laa... since last time during my internship, he keep saying tat go india work can earn a lot and cum bek can becum construction manager ady... hope tat he can reli do tat...

last but not least, jz now, my sis fon me.. n brg me a sudden news... it is not sudden ady actualy... jz, we wont expect it to be happened NOW... it is reli a bad news for the family.. altho evy1 ady prepare for it... LAK GU (my 6th uncle) have leaved us.. his laughing, smiling, n big voice wont be appearing anymore... i think, my mum stil duno abt tis news yet.. coz she maybe sleep ady when he past away.. so they decided not to let the siblings of my mum, including her, knw abt tis news yet... the last time i saw him is during cny oso... he was always a cheerful person... he was always laughing, no matter any event, anywhere, there would be laughing voice if he was there.. i m using the word "was"... is it mean tat he was a past tense ady? wont, i wont be forgetting him forever... without him, i think, coz he was one of the closest sibling of my mum... n thus he quite look after n tek gud care of us also...

LAK GU.. i will miss u forever.. n i believe tat the whole khor family will also miss u...

Life is so short.. any1 can go at anytime... imagine, if today is ur last day, wat would u do?

hope tat there is no regret in life.. and gud nite evy1...

gud person will go to heaven, is it true?

要新年了。。

2010-02-06T11:20:00.000-08:00

下星期，新年了咧。但，一点开心的感觉，完全没有。
不懂为什么，曾经小时后很期待新年的到来。

小时候，每当新年快来临时，就一直忙着帮妈妈弄新年饼，包红包的。那时的日子，真的很快乐。

长大了，烦恼多了。也越来越忙了。离新年只有一个星期，但一点气氛都没有。
新年衣，完全没买到。你们相信吗？

朋友与朋友之间的感情，也随着时间，误会，偏见，争吵，越来越淡了。CI G3 之间的节目，也越来越少了，或许，是我们越来越忙了。因为src，utar ball，traveler's den 的开会，活动，使到我与同系同学的感情越来越疏远了吧。

“你能去咩？你很忙的啦。。大忙人” 我朋友曾经跟我说过。。。

其实，我真的不想失去任何朋友。至少，我认为现在我还不会忽略任何一方吧。。。

要新年了咧，从小到大，新年的节目都一样的。年除夕，和婆婆大伯，大伯老婆，姑姑，和我爹娘还有四个姐姐吃团圆饭。多数都会在吉打吃吧。回到家，晚上了，可能会和朋友出去一下。

年初一，去婆婆家拜年，看下戏，吃下饼，等大伯来，拿红包。不久后，就出去拜阿祖（婆婆的妈妈）了。过后，去舅舅家那里，因为我妈的兄弟姐妹都聚会在那里的。而我就会开始和小一辈的玩牌咯。呵呵。。。晚上回婆婆家吃晚餐，看戏就回加央。

年初二，三也就开始闷了。可能会有一天与朋友们出去拜年啦。。。

但今年，计划换了。每次新年，都会有听见六舅的笑声，有他的存在，就会有笑声了。但，这一次的新年，他，是躺在医院里，跟癌症打斗着。。。也因为这样，这一次的新年聚会，应该也是个沉重的吧。。。

怎样也好啦。。祝大家在新的一年里，快快乐乐的，也可以事事顺利。。。还有，情人节快乐。
虽然我没情人，但也祝我快乐啦。。

moody... moody... moody...

2010-02-02T09:53:00.000-08:00

yes i m moody...
so i hv no mood to write anythg here...

>.<

urgghhhh~~~~~~ aaarrrrr~!!!!!!!

gud nite!!!!!!!!

1st blog in Year 3 AKA extreme race

2010-01-30T07:35:00.000-08:00

Well, this is my 2nd week for my year3 sem3. It is totally a busy sem for me.. my frens can feel it also.. busy for meeting, busy for orientation, busy for internship report, busy for utar ball, busy for assignment, busy for application of wat US thg, busy for etc etc etc..

This morning we having a so-called UTAR 1st extreme race by Askar Wataniah.. It is an event organized at FRIM.. n i join it for no reason oso.. initially wanna go Genting with yiyan, hean, miao etc one.. but.. i put their aeroplane coz of the RM 50 i have submitted to the extreme race.. sobsob..

Well, what do you think abt extreme race? SURE larr muz be extreme!!! but then this one, quite... erm... dunno hw should i describe also.. we are given 2 eggs and we hv to protect it along the race.. there will be so-called criminals to destroy ur eggs... but, it is juz a "so-called" larr... not reli exist one lol..

1st game, search for marble in lake... it reli depends on our luck actually.. coz, if u are lucky enuf, u step on the sphere-like item, u take it up, then if it is a guli, then u succeed... but, if u jz step on small small stones like me, then sorry... hehe... and all the participants all like fighting for the guli onli... including me of coz..

Well, there are other games as well, like eat leaves, pumping in water, rolling on the grass under the hot sun (i kena khaishen kick my head many times >.<) etc etc.. yaa, there is a station, where there is a plate of wormmmm.. EAT WORM?!!!!! no lar, fear factor mehh? jz simply nid to use ur tongue to tek the papers out from the plate onli lar...swt rite?

Yaa, another game!!! puzzle!!! and for u to play the puzzle u hv to wait 1st, coz so many teams, and there are onli 2 o 3 puzzle there... so u nid to wait.. wait.. then pumping, sit-up again, and the most important is let the person-incharge there happy,then u may proceed to the game...haha...

So, we used our team song, to let them happy... tat was created by us along our journey since peter terseliuh his leg tat time, so we jz walk n create a lot of stupid stuff.. it sounds...

"Tanggal tiga puluhhhh, bulan satu, dua ribu sepuluh.. Extreme race, extreme race, SRC menang, ia pasti menjadi sejarah...."

hehehe.. tis is one of our slogan also... where our initial slogan is jz short n simple... which is... "oooorrrrhhh, champion!" kakaka...

Then we created again, a new one slogan... which is... "(Khaishen)How many two eggs in our lives? (Teckwei aka me)The most important isssss~~~ (All) ENJOY!"
(quoted from Mr CHAI GAO, hehe..)

Well, the 1st team finish the race on 10.30pm, and we finish at... dunno wat time wor.. coz i dun hv watch with me tat time >.< but we get 191 marks lorr... not bad oso ady... we not planned to finish it early one, coz they said the race is not based on ur speed, is based on the marking... (altho the champion won coz of their time worr... weird rite?)

Then, the lunch, application fee RM50/head, and guess wat is the lunch? YES!! it is rice!! with three vege!! ya, VEGE... RM2 can get one at genting klang or RM2.5 can get one at wangsa maju...

Yes, keavin, asked me to write sumthg abt him... so i mentioned him here also lar... coz he said my blog always sad larr.. hehehe.... so after write ur name here, happy ady?? wakakka...

Weihao, shaojie, hanjian, solo king them get lost in the jungle wor.. they took the wrong road... so tats y we all weird coz they are actualy faster than us one, but they still hvnt reach after we all finish shower, finsh meal... hehe...

Quoted from Mr. Richard... "guli race 一场以guli决胜负的比赛..." and he said, ah pang imposible to be so fast one, coz their group is the faster to reach the end point among all the CI teams...is their training effective??? the answer is... "coz of ahpang's mouth, got ppl will injured (my team), got ppl will get lost (hanjian's team)" lol...

Anyway, it is still a great experience for us lar... tis is jz the 1st time for them to organize it... i believe tat there will surely be improvement in future! gambate nahh... ^^

going back to KL

2010-01-09T09:09:00.000-08:00

That's right. i am going back to KL already... for 9 hours more...
Sri Maju Bus (RM43) 10 am @ Kangar Bus Station, 10/1/10

Well, i'm having my class start on 18th, but the orientation, meeting all are on 11th. So, i need to rush back to UTAR for attending these activities. Why need so? Coz of the 3 letters, SRC or the 3 words, Student Representative Committee..

Today is the 1st time i take beer from my house refrigerator to drink. I never drink it before at my home. Although i drank it outside before, of course. This coming back, is the one which i go out the least one, no much friends coming back. And i didn't go to Derma as well. Most of the friends i know at derma, have gone. The form 5 students now, is the one who just enter form 1, in the year of 2006, in other words, the year after we left derma. Realize that time, really pass very fast. 4 years already, i have been graduate from secondary school for four years. Can't really imagine that.

Went to visit meyven just now, she is still the same. No much change. She asked for having a gathering or any activity in the coming CNY. Everyone in our form, have seem to be separate and no much gathering being hold in these few years. Friendship among us, have being weaker and weaker. Well, of course, i hope that this gathering can really been worked out, but is it really possible?

Well, i promised myself, this new year, i need to change myself. Transform myself to be a cheerful person, to be happy all the time. I will forget all the unhappy stuff. And i believe, i can do that (:

Now, report ya report, I am headache of you... How can u treat me so? Can i finish it in 2 days? i hope so also, and i want to go back to IJM site to collect back some information, but, see first.

Maybe just forget about it. And the appraiser form to be submitted to Dr Low also still with me. I haven't submit to low kaw sai yet. Sweat...

WELL... The new intake for UTAR is reaching. Welcome all the new victims to UTAR and congratulation to UTAR for successfully cheating those new students ya...

无题2

2010-01-07T05:45:00.000-08:00

泪水啊，泪水，怎么你又再不听话呢？说好了不掉了不是吗？又偷偷的掉了出来哦。。你不乖咯。。

手指哦，你也是坏坏咯。。。说好了，不要再按了，不要了。。但你却偏偏的跑去按，控制也控制不到你。。长大了，学坏了，不听我的话了是不是？！

真的，真的好辛苦。
我说，我累了。这是心灵上的累了。不是一般休息可以恢复的累。

来了几天，天天期待着。但，天空，天天在下雨，而雨后的彩虹，我看不见。
这一星期，原是我几个月来，一直期待着到来的一星期。
来了，但，又有什么用？

天，几时才会亮？晴天，什么时候才会到来？

快回去吉隆坡了，还有明天，后天。。

回到了吉隆坡的日子又会是怎样的？气象报导说，那里的天气，是暴风雨。。。

my industrial training...

2010-01-04T22:32:00.001-08:00

The industrial training have been finished already.. what's coming now is the report... the ~10000 words report, writing about what have I learned during the 12weeks.. it is really a tough task for me, since i dunno what shud i write inside... shud i write.."i learn how to snake effectively... i experienced the working life of drinking alcohol at bar after working hour... i learn how to hide from the construction manager's eye sight after i went breakfast for 2 hours...i know how to handle the government and pay for the money of so-called minum kopi.."???

[i wondering how is the lecturer's response after seeing these...]

Frankly, being a trainee, is really very hard.. the most important role of a trainee is to cheer up the staffs there.. listen to the staffs there.. acting support them... although we r not happy, moody.. we are still need to act like agreeing with them, try our best to laugh when they talk something that is not funny.. cannot reject anyone... heard this feler say the bad thing of the another guy, in the other hand, listen to that another guy to talk bad of the previous feler to us.. and we are just like a way for them to put out all of their "gases"...

Anyway, it is still a good experience for me.. Building a hotel, a five-star hotel... it was my dream since i was small... i still remember when i having my interview for IJM scholarship, i say i luv hotel, i hope that i become a civil engineer and i m able to build a hotel by my own.. they asked me why, i said, coz i love to see ppl being happy... and staying in hotel is usually when ppl go for a vacation, they will stay in the hotel happily and i like the feeling..

Ya, now, some ppl said, maybe my dream have come true... but, i doubt...

In this training, i have known some of new friends, new staffs and maybe some foreign workers. I tried night duty. I tried over night at site before. which i nvr experience it... working as a contractor, is actually not related to what have we learned for 4 years in the course of civil engineering.. the so-called engineer in a project, is referring to the consultant engineer... but, i have no choice now for trying to be a consultant, my life have been chosen... my 5 years after graduation have been decided. what will i be in the 5 years? will i be successful in construction line? i doubt...

Come back to perlis.. a place of which i hope to come back every single second. last time, i went back was 2 months ago, it was just a weekend, not a holiday.. and i back for just a short duration which is 2 days.. these two days were the happiest moment of me in the year of 2009. tat's true..

The time past reli very fast... when i was a kid, i wondering why the adult keep saying time and tide wait for no man.. and kids, keep saying that the time pass vy vy slow... but now, i can really feel that, time really pass very fast... and now, already year of 2010... will it be a happy year? will it be a blissful year? will it change my life totally? i doubt...

Anyway, happy new year to all of my friends...

女孩们,你们找到了吗?

2010-01-03T08:12:00.000-08:00

＊誰可以當男朋友，誰只能當普通朋友。＊
普通朋友：半夜會找妳打BBS聊天到很晚。
男朋友：半夜看妳還在BBS上會趕你下線(當然妳可以柪個幾分鐘)。
---------------------------------------------
普通朋友：他會找你出去玩,叫妳放棄報告或翹課。
男朋友：他會催妳快寫作業,或者想要跟你討論功課。
---------------------------------------------
普通朋友：在你生病時，會講好話關心妳。
男朋友：在你生病時，他會關心到你很煩，而且逼你去看醫生。
------------------------------------------
普通朋友：他會盡量說好話來討好妳，妳會覺得他很棒。
男朋友：他所說的話，都是關心妳的！但通常像是在命令妳，妳會覺得他幹麻這麼做。
--------------------------------------------
普通朋友：他什麼事情都會配合著你，只要你高興。
男朋友：他會幫你辨別是非，但你會覺得他管太多。
-----------------------------------
普通朋友：他會說他要給你最大的幸福。
男朋友：他只能給你保證，妳跟他在一起，他是最快樂的。
-----------------------------------------
普通朋友：他會幫你買消夜，送宵夜，載你上下課。
男朋友：他會幫你買宵夜，不過他會提醒你，吃什麼比較健康。
他會載你上下課，不過要他有順路，因為他不能為你而翹課。
因為他翹課，他成績便會不好，成績不好不會有好工作。
那你們將來日子怎麼會好過，他會想的很遠。
----------------------------------------
普通朋友：他只有想到現在。
男朋友：他已經預見將來，該怎麼自我努力，好給你幸福。

★我要把幸福裝滿.連同我......一起送給你～。。☆

愛上一个人..........如此的甜蜜卻又讓人受傷害

放棄一个人..........如此的難過卻又讓人心碎

珍惜身旁的每一个人,不要等到失去了

才瞭解到遺憾.和後悔是如此的痛苦....

~※→因為愛你.所以放手還你自由←※~

~※→因為愛你.所以不再讓你困擾←※~

~※→因為愛你.所以寧願自己難過←※~

~※→因為愛你.所以我逼自己離開←※~

如果我還一直深愛著你...你是否還會待在我身邊?

如果我還一直在乎著你...你是否會再多看我一眼?

是否我已不存在了...你才感覺的到我的離開?

是否我已離開了....你才感覺的到我對你的好?

在此祝福全天下所以的有情人~都能夠忠誠眷屬~~

LOVE?

2010-01-02T08:21:00.000-08:00

LOVE? wat is LOVE? i also dunno what is love... a 21-year-old guy know nothing abt love, funny huh? haha...

I dunno why can a person luv another person but he wil still hurt her... is it called love?

I dunno, maybe just in my thinking.. i always think that guy and gal who r in a relationship, the male must love more than the gal.. just the gal will be xingfu.. tats y, if i saw a guy treat his gf not as gud as the gal treat him, honestly, i will be quite not siok with it.. maybe, tis is because i have no gf, haha...

but, no but... just i hope everyone i love, including u... ya.. u!! to be hapy... then i will be happy...
gud nite everyone..

lazy.. moody.. sleepy...

2009-12-25T06:00:00.000-08:00

lazy...

working nowadays... becum much lazier ady... evryday at site oso find ppl chat here chat there...
work?sorry... not reali work... i admit...
usualy my working hours (8am-5pm) is past like this... (imagine urself)

morning-
8.30am reach (yes, 8.30am, u r not see wrongly... my working hour start 8am but i reach 8.30am)
then if got meeting, go meeting til abt 10am...
if no meeting, go chat with supervisor or subcon trainee til abt 10am also...
then 10am liddat eat breakfast... then chat again, maybe help supervisor tek photo of the site la...
then 12pm go makan again..
usually eat till 1pm+++ de... then cum bek maybe online a while... then walk around the site... juz simply walk.... walk... walk... then time vy fast one mar... 3pm+ ady lor... yumcha again... then chat again... then print foto awhile... then 5pm... balik rumah!!!!

moody...
nowadays, i can realise tat the feeling is differnet.. evythg had changed...i juz wan everythg to be fine.. i juz hope tat u will be happy...can hear u smiling, laughing.. but...nw evry msg oso seem like... undescribable.. i hope to be happy as well... but i cant... mayb evyone see me always smile, laugh here laugh there...but is it true? the song "ni bu shi zhen zheng de kuai le" by MAYDAY.. is reli a good song.. yesterday xmas eve, went to sunway, saw a clown, jump here jump there, act like reli crazy, sumo laugh there, dance happily... but, do him reli happy? is it true?

sleepy...
everyday sleepy... i dunno why... at office sumtime oso slept... maybe i reli tired... reli... reli.. tired already...

爱一个人好辛苦

2009-12-06T20:49:00.000-08:00

喜欢跟爱有什么不同？

喜欢，是喜欢跟那人在一起，喜欢跟她说话，玩耍。闷时会想约她出来喝杯茶，逛下街，聊下天的。可能，就算她在忙着，也会死拉她出来的。喜欢一个人，当知道她伤心时，会一边想办法让她开心，但另一边可以跟别人嘻嘻哈哈的。。。喜欢就像是一种行动或动词吧。。。

爱，不算是动词，它是一种感觉。它可以不需要任何行动，任何动作。可能不会约她出来，因为担心她不方便。担心她在忙着。不会在闷时想起她，因为是每时每刻都在想念着她。。。醒来，第一个出现在脑海中的是她，睡了最后一个想着的同样也是她，就连发梦，也想梦见她。。。会无时无刻的望着手机，查看会不会收到了她的信息，就算明知道手机明明就没震动过。。。爱一个人，当她伤心时，你的情绪也会被她给影响的。就算你也在伤心着，也会想尽办法令她开心。要是失败了，你也不会好过。情绪也会很低落。

其实爱一个人真的好痛苦，爱一个不爱自己的，更痛苦。看着一个自己爱的人痛苦，那感觉更痛苦。

女孩，不管你做什么事，做什么决定，男孩都会永远在这里默默的支持你。。。因为男孩，只希望女孩快乐，开心，幸福。知道女孩幸福了，男孩才愿意放手。。。

gud luck to me

2009-12-06T04:59:00.001-08:00

what had happened? i really don't know. Maybe i am really stupid, even stupider that i thought.
Happy, sad, happy, sad...
I know everything had changed. At least i can feel that.
I'm really tired. But i won't give up easily.
Teckwei, GOOD LUCK!

missing u...

2009-11-20T05:27:00.000-08:00

Maybe i m stupid, maybe i m wasting time, maybe i m trying to achieve something that is impossible... alot of maybe, maybe...

I know, a lot people will think that i m stupid, wasting my time for waiting for something that is nearly 99% impossible to happen... I think, if my friends doing so, I will also surely feel that he is useless, stupid!!!

However, is it evyone need to be clever every time? Is it if we know that the thing is almost impossible then we should give it up? I don't think so... Nobody understand about the feeling... Even if 99% impossible, there is still 1% for us to hope for... While doing anything, don't think of is it worth or not, if u think u want to do it, just go ahead... Then u will not regret in future...

Maybe there will not be anybody to support me, but, for me, i will not give up easily...

Again, today, is a cloudy day... raining... my heart is raining as well...

he,she?happy?

2009-11-04T06:26:00.000-08:00

change.. u shud realize it also, rite?
if he dun msg her, i think, she wont msg him at all...
or now, even if he msg, she also, mostly, wont reply him as well...
what had happened? i think, she knw the reason herself, and he knw abt it clearly also...
what to do?the mind is totally blank... the world just becum colorless in the eye...
Whole person is lost, he dunno what he suppose to do, and suppose not to do...
However, no matter how, he will always support her... for every decision she made...
as long as she is happy, he will be happy...

无题

2009-11-02T22:49:00.000-08:00

是不是发生了什么事？忽然之间，女孩的态度好像180度的改变了。

信息越来越少了，男孩想打电话给女孩，但女孩连信息也没回复，男孩心想，她是不是在忙呢？她是不是想和男孩保持距离了呢？还是，还是，许多的还是。。。

或许，很多人会觉得男孩很傻，很笨。做了些不会有结果的期待。
但，结果，是重要的吗？
两人之间的感情，肯定要用结果来决定一切吗？
喜欢一件事，就要去追求，就算，得到的结果不是所期待的，但，至少，努力过了，人生才不会有遗憾。

change uni le lar... utar CI no hope...

2009-10-27T02:04:00.001-07:00

3words... cham cham cham...
3 panel members for the interviews... siti, ismail, elias...
n 5 persons in my group... Y3, Y2 n Y1...
n one word... DIE

UTAR CIVIL ENGINEERING... sorry... no hope ady... Want get recognized by BEM, IEM?? take extra exam lar!

Initially, we tot tat we will kena Elias.. n yizhong them kena ismail... who knw enter the interview room, the ismail come in... n v start to be vy sui..

he asked alot of thing... even yizhong them out ady, then the nex group cum in n finish ady.. tat tok jangut ismail stil asking!!!!!

We expected tat he will ask those general ques like the course obj... our opinion on university.. wat the life here etc... yup.. he asked... but thn suddenly he said... OK now i wan test abt the outcome...

What is the arch system... advantage?? Come in my mind is compression, but i nt sure abt it.. scare later say wrongly lagi cham... so i din answer it... end up he answer himself..

What is elasticity... Define stiffness, flexiblity,poisson ratio.... Hw to classify soil...sketch Bending Moment Diagram (indeterminate one)!!! where is the tension, compression area... Wat is water hammer??!! define hydraulic jump!!! etc etc etc.. (* i ask dr.khoo, she dunno abt water hammer as well...xD)

siao!! after exam i sure forget ady de marr...
so... haiz... it's ok... as he said...

so... suan le lar... jiayou lorr evy1...

转变。。。

2009-10-15T21:27:00.000-07:00

忽来的消息，忽来的反应，我完全没预测到。。。
顿时的男孩，真的不懂得怎么回应。。。

一直以来，男孩很害怕，很担心，会做错事，会讲错话。不敢说太多，不敢说太明，担心女孩会开始对男孩有了顾虑，开始保持应有的距离，从此就变成了再也普通不了的朋友。男孩不想这事情发生，真的不想。。。

这一切，该结束了吗？男孩的答案，也许只有两个字 “不懂”。。。
这一切是值得吗？
这一切会有结果吗？

女孩开始对男孩坦白，男孩也是。以后的男孩和女孩故事该会是怎样的结局呢？
或许，故事已经结束了；也或许，故事从来都没开始过。
不敢想，也不想去想。一切，就顺其自然。。。只希望，大家都能快乐，开心，幸福。

“爱情里最残忍的暧昧是我明明知道我爱你而我们却只是好朋友”

Y3 S1 study week...

2009-09-12T10:12:00.000-07:00

Frankly, i know that this semester i have become very, super lazy for academic...
Actually, i already predict that this semester, my result will surely drop from heaven to ground, or maybe paradise to hell... This semester, i suddenly join a lot of activities... make myself super busy of it... even now, study week, i still have to worry of the trip organized by my society... still need to update and deal with people from outside... i know tat, since the day that i join such committee, i will be sacrificing my studies, but i just wanna learn more thing during my university life, university is a place for us to learn not only academic, but also communication, leadership, or organizing skill, and also to build up our friendship right? But, i just know that i am not yet ready to sacrifice my result... really, not...

This semester, I have 5 subjects... okay, i arrange the subjects in the sequence of which comes first for this final exam. .

1st- fluid mechanics 2 (i will never study anything related to water again in my life, hate it.. how the fluid flow is its business, not i wanna go swim in it, why need to study it?! ><)

2nd- principle of electrical engineering (weird huh? i study civil engineering, but i never have a subject named 'principle of civil engineering', but i have to study principle of electrical engineering now... Wondering if my friends who are taking electrical engineering got to study 'principle of civil engineering' or not @@)

3rd- construction technology (a subject taught by our dearest Dr. Low Kaw Sai again... this subject, totally theory... i also don't know what is it about... seem like the theory about geotechnical engineering only. And just know that it seem like quite useless for me... because i hate memorizing the most!!!)

4th- geotechnical engineering (well, this subject all calculation, seem like i SHOULD like it a lot, because i prefer calculation than memorizing... But, i kept sleeping, chatting, coming late for this class... so till now, i also don't know what had i leard in this subject)

5th- structural concrete design (this subject i think is most important and related most to my field... but i can't find any interest in it... why? because of the good lecturer and good syllabus of this subject... till now, i think everyone of us still don't know what is the accurate method to solve the question... since the lecturer always "erm... we assume like this"... assume?? ya, she told us that there is no fix answer for the question... everything just assume.... and somemore, maybe the next class, she will tell you that she did wrongly in the previous lecture =.=")

ok, thats all for the subjects in my semester of this... no mood of studying these thing... i think, i just suitable to study those fundamental subjects... mathematics, statics etc. Those technical subjects, please, don't disturb me ><

Especially this study week, i touch only the subject that i THOUGHT is the easiest... principle of electrical engineering.. 1 subject in 1 week... i gonna die soon... i don't know why i will be so lazy... somemore i study this subject and that thing that is special is... i don't understand and cannot solve the tutorial question at all even if i have finish studied this subject...

Eh, ya.. i studied 1 more subject also... STATICS! yup... now i think my statics for 3D is quite pro already.. may score A if i take the exam.. haha.. but, useless for my subjects this semester.. ><

Besides, i really unlike the feeling that people keep thinking that i had really study a lot, but i am actually not.. and the feeling that people keep on saying that i very pro in certain subject already, or maybe need not study also can score very good result in the exam, saying that i am very fake that i said i haven't study at all... this will be annoying me since it will give me a lot of stress... if i really study, i will honestly tell you... it is not anything that is shameful... but if i haven't study anything, please, i am serious...

start worrying of my coming exam result... although a lot of my friends ask me not to be so stress, ask me to study hard, ask me to "add oil"... i think i may disappoint you all this semester...
GIVE UP? i hope i will not...

小丽。一个邻家女孩

2009-09-11T12:50:00.000-07:00

小丽是个邻家女孩，一个乖巧但有点内向的女孩。
但内心的她，却是个一直有点想让自己生活更加的多姿多彩的女孩，所以难免有时会想想试着放肆自己，尝试下当下个坏女孩的感觉。
不懂从几时开始，环境的影响，让她慢慢的有了怨恨。怨恨，是为了向保护自己。
曾经被出卖的她，变得越来越不敢相信任何人，除了她自己。因为在她心里，只有自己，是不会出卖、背叛自己的。
外表很懦弱的她，却装出一副很坚强的样子，但其实，她也不过是个希望有人保护，有人了解，有人爱护的小女孩。
内心总有着很多烦恼，很多心事。但总自己会一个人承受，从不告诉任何人。不认识她的人，会觉得她很冷漠，很安静，也或许，很骄傲。
想交朋友的她，却不懂得如何跟人沟通。她总希望可以有个信得过的知己，却找不到。想和朋友促进感情，却找不到那么的一个机会。
想让自己可以变得更快乐，更外向的她，难免会试着叛逆，难免会做错事，难免会遇到挫折。但，有哪个人没年轻过，没叛逆过；有哪个人敢说自己没做过任何错事；有哪个人没遇过波浪的。最重要的是，叛逆了懂回头；做错了懂知错、改过；遇到困难懂去克服它。这才是长大，变成熟的一个阶段。
私底下的小丽，是个喜欢宁静的人。喜欢看看海的她，只要望着一片无际的海洋，可以让她逃离烦人的世界，也可以让她找回真正的自己。她，向往自由，却被紧紧地绑着。。
其实，小丽只希望可以快乐，她，没错。她只想拥有一班好朋友，可以开开心心的过日子，不想被人欺负，想保护自己。。。
只要她认真寻找，她会找到一个值得自己相信的好朋友，也会找到真正让自己开心的方法。。。

回家。。。

2009-09-07T10:33:00.000-07:00

这次是我进入degree的第一次载studyweek时回来。之前，除了foundation，我从来不会回家的。但这次，如果我不回来，也许得等到明年才能回了。时间被排得紧紧的。。。

16/9-28/9 ：考试
1-2/10 : 去关丹
5-7/10：去柔佛比赛
12/10-31/12　：开始工作

唉，　命苦。。。　

我这次是９月４日就回来了，那天刚刚赶完１４个星期的assignment，就是那个起屋子给原主民但是过后他又不要建的那个。。。赶了整个通宵，弄到４。５５ｐｍ才搞定，５点得交了，赶着印，ｂｉｎｄｉｎｇ，到大学时已经５。１０ｐｍ了。。。打给风扇，又不听电话，ｐｉｇｅｏｎｈｏｌｅ又剩下几本ａｓｓｉｇｎｍｅｎｔ罢了，应该是被视为late submission了吧，但，好在我们有高人相助哈哈哈。。　

那天一回到家，就开始收拾东西了，因为得赶去ｐｕｄｕ买巴士票，第一次，当场买当场回，如果没有票，就再扛着重重的书包去三姐那的。但是，在我出门前，忽然找不到我的手表，现在也还蛮担心的，没有那手表，感觉周身不自在。。。我老豆在我中四时送我的咧，从我那时每次考试都会戴着它的，希望回到ｋｌ时可以找回来　><

收拾着时，宝贝猪（别误会，是个男的。。。ｋｅｎ）在ｍｓｎ问我要不要去ｍｓ．ｃｈｅｒｙｌ　家喝酒，开ｐａｒｔｙ，看戏哦。。。但他没去。。。（ｍｓ．ｃｈｅｒｙｌ：ＵＴＡＲ　ＤＳＡ officer)。。。我怎样去啦，回家大过天咧。。呵呵。。。不久后，kelvin又打电话来了，也是叫我去，结果我又拒绝了咯。。。呵呵

9点，赶着下来去pudu，一出电梯，听到一声“teckwei”从后面传来。。。哇，看到kelvin，miss ong他们一大班。。。还以为他们这么好心来送我，哪里知道原来他们是泊车后要走去ms cheryl家（才懂，原来ms cheryl住我家那里罢了，哈哈）

到了ｐｕｄｕ，买１１点的巴士票，就去了ｋｆｃ吃一人晚餐。。。可怜。。。在那里坐到１０。５５ｐｍ就赶着跑去巴士那里。。。那白痴巴士忽然换了停的地方，好彩我找得到，不然就不用回了。。。　

六点半到加央，当天，miao信息来说他回来了，问要不要出来。。。过后又说天杰约去kfc。。什么？！ｋｆｃ？唉。。。又再来？！算啦。。。就去啦。。。miao说他为了我回来的哦，难道不给面子咩。。虽然让他在我家等了一下子。。。　哈哈
结果那晚我们（我，天杰，ｍｉａｏ，思贤）就在ｋｆｃ那呆了差不多一小时，真的只是呆而已，没买到半样东西，ｋｆｃ的老板应该会很讨厌我们吧哈哈。。。（因为太多人了，没有人愿意牺牲去排队，哈哈）。。。　结果我们换去海之味，也加了一个ａｎｄｙ。。。

第二天，没什么事情发生。。。只是我睡觉，上网罢了。。。唉。。。废的一天。。。

第三天，刚才。。。也没什么特别的事，二姐的朋友从槟城来这里找房间，不懂算不算可怜，被派来加央医院做工。。。然后二姐和老豆就陪他们去找房间咯。。。好人咧。。。当然啦，我家人嘛，有我的遗传的咧^^　下午，和女孩出去，很久没见到她了，大概。。。快一年了吧。。。这次出去，没之前的那么不自在了，还蛮轻松的。。。看海，很久没看到海了咧。。。虽然，难看了点，但也算是海啦。。。　呵呵。。。要回去了，她也要走了，不懂以后再相见的日子是几时。。。

回来学业了。。。这次，完全是。。。几乎放弃了。。。原本以为读ｅｌｅｃｔｒｉｃａｌ会满容易的。。。还好啦，读时满容易，做练习时，唉，不说了啦。。。越说越伤心。。。算了啦。。。　

晚安了大家。。。有机会，满想出去看看星空的，满想念之前躺在沙滩看星星的感觉（和weihao一起，两个男人一起看，浪漫咧～）。。。在ｋｌ，没海边，没星星。。。唉。。。

这几天的我。。。唉

2009-09-01T07:36:00.000-07:00

国庆日了咯。。。
52年了，今年的国庆日，应该可以说是我在这里过得最国庆的一次。
参了src，所以无端端的得负责国庆日的展览（虽然我。。。好像。。。没什么贡献的）。。。
其实我是有工作做的，但，因为技术上的点点问题，忘了转闹钟，手机忘了开声音，结果忘了起身，忘了准备茶点给vip =.="

八月三十日晚上，bear/sr korkor 打电话给我。叫我去晚餐哦。。。还有美诗/sr sousou和kelvin。。以为吃个晚餐而已咯，结果，忽然就去了titiwangsa 公园，还有dataran merdeka，要看烟花哦。。。结果。。。到了那里，果然很多很多人，还有个大营幕在那的草场上，那时大概11。45pm，我们就坐在草上看电视咯，tv2那时播着有关历史的电影，感觉上满好看的其实。。。但我们看时已经要完了。。。所以只看到一幕，是播着umno-mca的聚会，然后东姑在台上说他们要去英国争取独立，但不够钱，所以那时就很多人捐钱，满感动的。。。呵呵。。。
过后，看着旁边的大钟楼，快十二点了。结果就 “咚咚咚”。。。竟然没人倒数的哦，只是响了不久，就有几个人在乱喊乱叫。。。然后几个人站起来走回去。。。一些人在路边乱乱跳舞。。。结果，我们就很无奈的走回去车那里。。。烟花？发梦啦。。。

八月三十一日，和弟弟女儿出去看戏，还有一位好像是什么bbq的 lim。。。去klcc 看 orphan。。。还不错的一部戏，只是没想象中的那么恐怖。。。只是后面满紧张的。。。哟，第一次跟女神女佣看戏咧。。。09年8月31日，这天不能忘掉咯。。。哈哈哈。。。看2pm的，我却1。45pm 才从蕉赖弟弟家赶过去，以为迟到了啦。。。结果。。。呵呵，还好啦。。。哈哈哈哈哈。。。
过后，去mv吃sushi，我人生中第一次的shashimi，相隔不懂五六年没吃了的sushi，统统在这一天吃了。。。呵呵。。。过后，载弟弟去timesquare那里找家人，结果，迷路了。。。走到。。。pj。。。再弯个大弯才去到目的地。。。真的是。。。厉害到。。。
过后哦，就去三姐家咯，还车给她，再等khoo来载我们回setapak，因为bear/sr korkor叫去他家火锅哦，也是满突然的。。。八点开始的，但我们10点才到。。。女王女佣也有去。。。之前还担心他们俩会不习惯，结果，我的担心是多余的，因为，他们俩竟然玩游戏时还比我疯狂哈哈哈。。。这样一搞，就6点早上了。。。

今天呢，4。30pm就去了pj。。。去和那里src弄个joint event-merdeka week exhibition。。。好听是我们联办，不好听就是我们是他们的下属，被他们点来点去。。。我们是客人，来帮他们做东西，一句谢谢都没有，还丢下我们在那里，自己回家了。。。好，我喜欢！够爽快！
过后就和ms ong去 sentosa 吃晚餐。。。快9点半了才回家。。。

明天（等下）。。。开始就快疯了。。。开始忙到快死了。。。bridge competition的开会，traveler's den 的开会（应该没去了）。。。过后再讨论assignment，晚上又要开始赶assignment 和准备presentation的资料了。。。唉，最惨的都是那烂风扇的assignment！！很烦很烦很烦！！！！！

（*烂风扇~我的其中一位教授 lam foong sin）

week 14...

2009-08-29T12:35:00.000-07:00

要考试了，读书读书读书。。。一直出现在我脑海里。。。
但，书，是有读，但读的是。。。脸书，也就是全世界都很出名的。。。facebook！！！

下星期，要交assignment了，起屋子给一个叫ASHALANEE的原住民。在金宝的。到现在我都不懂那ASHALANEE是个男还是个女的。。。只懂他很大胆，竟然敢住我们起的屋子。。。但，几个月前听说他不要住了。。。算聪明点了吧。。。呵呵。。。不然，倒下来也不懂谁要去负责。。。

现在，家里没什么人，全部该回家乡的都回了。。。剩下我和弟弟罢了。。。弟弟不是我真的弟弟，是一个ktar的，为什么叫他弟弟，我也不懂。。就习惯了。。。可能他不是妹妹吧。。。所以就叫他弟弟咯。。。

对了，说到妹妹，突然看到秀琴的部落格。。。突然看到我的名字在她最新的日记。。。呵呵，她借了我的一句话。。。很久很久前写的。。。想不到我写的东西也那么有意思哦。。。哈哈哈。。。（http://gyrenakhim.blogspot.com/2009/08/blog-post_29.html）

《哥的话,嘻嘻，德威，就借着我用这句你的话，
“我很了解我的心从来没迷路过，这条路是我想要走的那条路，而是这条路太难走了，也太窄了，想挤进去也太多了，我已经尝试努力的走下去，但。。。这条路，有容下我的地方吗？就算是只个小小空间，我，也满足了。。”
这是我妈？》

我也蛮感性的哦原来。。。哈哈哈哈！！！！

This semester... Tired

2009-08-28T10:30:00.000-07:00

tired... tired... tired...
tired of evythg... tired of studies, tried of curriculum activities, tired of src, tired of friends, tired of love, tired of competition...

study~i hv reli no idea on what had i studied or learned in this semester... sorry for my noob-ness... i reli... cannot understnd of it even if the lecturer said tat it is just "high-school" stuff... am i cannot be compared to a high skul student? maybe i m worse than a hi-skul student... i m not sure... reli... reli... worry of this semester... kia-su... i admit it... evy1 tot tat i vy pro, but in fact i m not... evy1 said... "wah... president list lor.. u dunno, then hu will knw lor... if u fail arr? then i no nid tek exam ady lor"... speechless... this semester=die...assignment started from week1 till week14... structural concrete design... sumthing tat make us sufferring for the whole semester... lamfoongsin... aiz...

curriculum activities~moulala becum the vicechair of traveler's den... n organizing the sg lembing trip... evryday worry of the market... targetting 35 ppl... if not reach it, or anythg happen... the loses will be responsibled by us... n which is not a small value... duty at booth evyday, make me have no free time to hang out with frens during break time...

src thing~merdeka week... utar ball... blablabla... meeting... and also budget n financial account... wth... i not even settle the account for merdeka week else... then also caused of src meeting n activities... make me skip quite lot of classes... no wonder heard ppl said, entering src thn hv to prepare for getting worse in exam... assignment, the last week already... week 14... there is still an assignment which i think is the toughest one and not yet completed... make my life... BORING!

friends~wanna hang out with frens like previous semesters... but how? i can't... can't even find out free time for hanging out... i knw that maybe i am already started being erm... maybe "boycott" for always refuse to go out with coursemates... coz of meeting n other activities.. but i can do nth... well, now, actualy i juz come bek from hanging out with hanjian, weihao n khaishen... yumcha (or my dinner) and pool... lol.. til 5am...

love~well, wat is love? who do i love?? i dunno.. n vy blur of it... i dun wanna think abt it... i rmbr got sumbody told me b4, love is suffering... dun love is better... erm.. quite agree with it... do i love her? i dunno, and i hope tat i wont think so much... so, now, what can i do is jz treat evy1 as gud frens... and of coz, i luv all my frens... i juz dun wanna to let ppl hate, and hope tat ppl will like me n treat me as gud or maybe best fren...

competition~a gud news... our team is qualified for the bridge competition by UTM... din expect tat we can be accepted since the design is simply draw one using 1 nite time... somemore there is quite a lot problem occuring during the drawing stage... however, qualified into the competition, mean we have extra thing to do during these months... haiz... exam+assignment+trip+now, bridge competition again....

exam till 28th of Sept, 30th nite of Sept goin to sg lembing trip, till 2nd of Oct... 5th of Oct goin to UTM Johor for competition till 7th of Oct.. and industrial training, which i dunno when shud i postpone to... maybe 12th... let Dr. Lai them decide on it... coz i think IJM wil kill me if i tell them i wan to postpone again... but the training will be ended on 31th of Dec... means... i can only go back Perlis on January 2009..summore less than 1 week.. coz of the orientation for January intake... haiz haiz haiz...

七夕情人节快乐

2009-08-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

A very ... erm... dunno-how-to-describe day today...
well, for tis blog, jz let me briefly write down what had i done in this semester... as a memory for me in the future... so, i think i hv to write it here 1st bfore i forget it...
well, in tis sem, i join quite a lot of... so-called curiculum activities... From orientation, to src, to society... orientation, as mentioned, i was the ast. treasurer for RCM... but in fact, is responsible for VIP n helpers food.. oo, ya, i was oso the oath taker for the mass call, whose voice is the loudest wan, according to my juniors.... LOL... but we r praised by mr.denish.. manager of DSA, haha~
thn i was the helper for icebreaking n wfc.. wfc, till now i stil dunno wat i actualy helped them in the event... i jz remember, i took the helper tag, n sat there for the whole concert... n, mayb... again... the sound-effect manager... LOL..
well, for the icebreaking, which was the event tat made me knw the most juniors... bcoz i was the faci for the icebreakin, or so-called SPY... lol... from there, i knw a lot of frens... but i think till now, the most got contact de oso are jz qi and doni onli... we r 小毛驴... lol.. stil rmber?? WAKAKA
ok, then i mongchacha then enter jor SRC... student representative committee...become the treasurer of it... sound vy yeng rite?? but actualy not... is the committe tat let ppl "put on table" wan... evythg oso nid to involve, evythg oso related to us.. damn busy!!!! and then, one day, zhiling ask me whether wan join comitee for society o not... n then, again, mong cha cha, then becum vice chair of traveler den ady... swt...

ok...no doubt, tis sem i reli get knw a lot lot lot lot new frens... compared to few previous semesters i at UTAR... n most of the new frens tat i knw is coz of... ice breaking, society, src, malacca "TRIP" and 2nd book selling!!

so-called malacca trip...thx for "strong man"

oohh.. ya, n also coz of i help xinqi (a cute gal from my icebreaking group) to help her n her frens to register art n craft membership, so i get to knw the two frens of her, fiona n peiseen... i knw fi 1st, n how i knw her? it is coz of a vy... funy? or sory? story.. lol.... but coz of tat case oso, i with they three gals bcum more gud frens.. coz of the RM10 senior, or RM6.66666 seniors and the bubble milk tea (where i knw seen there)... haha...
yaa, i knw mr.v as well from selling books... among so many juniors i sell 2nd hand books, i think mr.v is most gud wit me de laa... altho not vy gud fren oso XD
ok then... i mong cha cha bcum src ady maa, so i oso get to knw sum src from other campus... especially sg long wan... dunno y, mayb is a tradition... usually KL campus n sg long campus src more close wan.. but not other campus... hahahhaa...
then, in this sem, i oso mongchacha then go jor join 1 competition... a vy nice competition.... ASEAN build n break competition... at UNITEN.... quite a nice wan... we built a tower crane prototype by using the material they provided us on the spot... in abt 3-4 hrs for us to build... UTAR sent two teams there... CI y3 and y4 students... guess wat, y4 students lose jor... but we!! din lose... juz.. disqualified =.= hahahhaha...

pity us kena "mao kai tao" for our lunch... looking on sky...blaming the god.. y our life so poor...
our "baby" after 3 o 4 hours... on mr.tan table SA block now...

oh ya, we had a trip last time... goin to KL (from KL go KL??? =.=)... a trip by traveler's den... quite happy tat tis trip can success... altho i m not the organizing committee... i involved quite lot in it... so i think i ady treat tis trip as my "baby" lol..

thn... cant think of anythg ady... juz tis sem, quite sien the subj... lamfoongsin... haiz... asgmnent frm week 1 - 14... sot sot sot!!!! low kao sai... dunno wat he teach!!! evyday "huh... huh... huh..." sien!!! dr.chew... he teach quite nice kua... but i dunno... cz he teach, i sleep o i talk!!!! lee min lee... ok larr.. but i chat oso =.=" sorry to them... T_T
Ya, tis sem, i oso becum the helper of Famine 30... 1st time din eat solid food for 30hours... wow... n i din hungry at all!!! (cheat ppl wan larr).... but stil ok larr... 30 hours onli maa.. sapsapsui.. altho we actualy is famine 33... lol... then i saw ah mei oso!!!! rocks! guangliang oso... altho i asleep when guangliang sang til half... paiseh to him ><

Together with a cute gal, wei wei at the famine camp... youngest in our camp, 7yrs old!

but didi said me gold fish uncle (look alike me?!) ><

ok, week 13 ady now.... but my knowledge still on week 1 o 2 onli... hahhha... vy nice.... tis sem.. goin to die lorr.... n i till now dun even knw when i wan to go bek kampung... i tak tau.... i wanna go bek, tis weekend o nex? haiz... if i dn bek either of these two week.. i hv to wait wait wait wait till NEXT YEAR!!! yeah!!! coz i hving exam till 28th of Sept, then 1 n 2nd of Oct hving another trip (oso traveler's den one), thn 5th of Oct haiz... work ady... with IJM.... sien sien sien ><

The project that i will be going to internship for... A 5-star hotel at KL

long long long time din write blog le lorr...

2009-08-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

well... reli quite long time din blog ler...
erm... 1 month 2 month... forget le lorr...wakakaka... fanzheng nobody knw tat i got blog oso de larr.. lol....
well... to explain here, actualy i start blogging since form5 ady... here is the proof... u guys can see from here...

stupid4evil.multiply.com

hahaha... i stil rmbr my very 1st blog is abt a scorpio wan.. lol... coyotito as in form5 novel... kakaka... well... i show the link here juz to prove tat i m NOT influenced by any1 to begin blogging... erm... scare tat u guys tot tat i m like sum1 maa... LOL... ya... i m vy "expensive", understnd?? LOL
hahaha... but tat one is longlonglonglonglong time punya history jor...
so ok larr... since nth to do recently.. (in fact, a super bz semester >< vy fan, vy stress, vy bz... my frens got feel it??) so now... i start unlock my blog la... n thn start to update it... ermm...
well... today still nth much to write larr... quite lazy ady... tmr stil goin to hving 2 tutorial... 1 meeting n 1 sg long erm.. dunno wat competition...but i knw go there to see sr korkor flirting lar... wakakka... lol... k lar... byebye...

无聊的晚上

2009-05-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

跟housemate去了民歌餐厅（小树）吃晚餐，吃了整整两个小时多。真的是有够无聊的。
刚才看到有个因为orientation认识的朋友在msn的personal message里写了一句“男孩放手让女孩走，不是男孩放弃了女孩，而是因为男孩太爱女孩”，很熟悉的一句。
这，不就是我之前写的吗？他说，是他以前抄我的。我以前写的personal message他都有留下来，说很有意思。呵呵，原来我写的东西也有fans的。。。

在KL的三天。。。

2009-05-24T05:22:00.000-07:00

回吉隆坡有三天了。
星期四晚上十一点的巴士，车上只有六位乘客。加上司机总共八个。
很无聊的一个夜晚。好久没有坐晚上的巴士了。尤其是一个人回。
没人陪我聊天。一个人看着窗外，是孤单。
那晚忽然想着想着，落泪了。本以为不会再为你流泪了的。但，不听话的泪水，还是掉下了。
是想起一些回忆吧。毕竟，去年的五月，发生的事情真的太多太多了。
一年了，转眼间。
巴士上，打了电话给正涵，只想找个人聊天，刚开始时，还真的差点讲到哭泣，还好控制得住。
讲了有一小时吧，因为他也很闷，我懂。
五月二十二日，二姐生日了。今年的生日，她在英国。所以没信息给她了。去年好像也是十二点过了才信息她的。那时，是我永远都忘不了的日子。也是我最大遗憾的夜晚，每天都在想，如果，没有那一晚，会是如何？但。。。即使给我知道了，又如何？时间是不可能倒流的。
今年二姐的生日，送了个video给她，拍我们全家人的。这次回家，最大的任务就是把这video搞好（连接起来，找二姐从出生到长大的照片在存入电脑，加入生日歌，放上youtube，等等）好像在赶assignment一样。做了又改，改了又改。
去年的这个时候，我也不是在忙着。但，不同的是，这感动了二姐，而上次的那个，感动不了你，或许，你要收到的话，也许吧。但。。。
对了，今年二姐的生日，也发生了一场意外。三姐，本来想驾车找我的，忽然车前的盖松了，整个飞了起来，遮住前面玻璃镜，她说，当时很危险，看不到前面的车，而旁边全部的车都停了下来让她。结果，得把那盖敲出来（因为扁了点），还要接回去它的joint。而那天，原本打算留在setapak的我，就跟着 ah khoo 的车去了 cheras 我姐家。
今天早上，和三姐去了三姨家吃粽子。表姐的两个女儿也在。一个三岁了一个五岁了。好快哦，还记得之前她们好像才刚出生的。看着她们成长，真的不得不承认时间过得真的很快。怪不得，以前小时常常听大人们说时间不留人。两个小女孩，一个小雯一个小慧，整个家都是她们的声音，到处跑来跑去，无忧无虑的。当小孩，真开心。。。也很简单，一个小小会变色的茶壶，就可以使到她们笑个饱了。真希望，我也可以像她们一样的，简简单单，每天开开心心的，但，能吗？

今天。五月二十一日

2009-05-20T23:51:00.000-07:00

要回了。KL。
回到加央才大概八天吧，是，上星期三回来的。
昨天去了alorstar看医生，花了整百块。发觉爸爸妈妈在我身上真的花了不少钱。有千多块了吧。
唉。

昨天还跟爸爸去收房租，中国人的租客。很重的中国音。他们远来这里读书，读的是那里附近的一所回教学院，说回去时可能会做老师，还是翻译员。远离家乡来到这里读书的他们，比跟在吉隆坡的我，真的是。。。我也不懂怎样说。。。

昨晚，和婆婆姑姑一起去吃晚餐，发觉婆婆真的渐渐的老了。要回时，她还问我们要不要拿些菜回家，是她朋友种的，妈妈说不用，叫她自己吃，她却静静的用自己的双手，把菜分成两份，再用原本的报纸左右把两棍菜卷起来，再撕一半。。。再偷偷的把那一半的菜放在我们车后，整个过程她静静的，不想别人看见，但，我全看在眼里了。。。她，一直都这样，想把东西跟我们一起分享。。。忽然，我想起，日后，婆婆越来越老了，姑姑也老了，uncle也退休了，爸爸也退休了，照顾他们的责任，全在我身上了。。。说实在的，满担心会担当不起来。。。

昨天和今天早上，去了学校，同样的校园，但感觉不同了。以前回去时都会有种类似回家的感觉，但这几次，我懂，改变的是什么。。。一年了，转眼间。。。
时间，可以倒流吗？或许，我太天真了吧。。。

昨天晚上，姑姑开着肥田的戏，有一句话满深刻的，“我们只是发了一场梦，但，最严重的是，我尽然不想从这场梦醒过来。。。”

晚上，十一点，搭巴士回kl了，这一次回去，应该得再等到九月了才回了吧。
几时，才会遇见你呢，但我了解，你不想遇见我。。。

五月十八日。。。

2009-05-18T01:35:00.000-07:00

好久没写blog了，但没关系啦，反正也没人会懂的，因为由于我从没跟人说过这blog，所以根本没有人懂它的存在。。。
回家了。玻璃市的家。这次是搭飞机回来，和意雁，joaane 一起。十三日的air asia，而今天看报纸得知当天有位搭air asia的飞机去槟城的其中一位乘客得了H1N1，11am 起飞的，幸亏十一点时我还在setapak。所以应该没关系吧~
回来了几天，这几天都跟朋友出去，广财，耀谦，静萦，意雁，正涵等等。。。喝茶，打球，还去SP Carnival玩水。。。

至于她，真的很久很久很久没见到她了。想念，有用吗？我了解已经改变了。。。一年了，我还放不下吗？现在的关系，已经变得从未想象中的奇怪了。就算我想把她当成纯粹的好朋友，我想也难了。。。

只希望时间真的可以治疗我的心情。。。
再过多几天就要回KL了，好久没回中学了，不懂该不该回。。。

One day trip for CI G3

2009-04-16T11:16:00.000-07:00

bla bla...
another "one day selangor trip" for CI G3...
yesterday... 15th April... we were having class from 1-2pm... and after that got a briefing about course selection to 2.30pm...
well, after the briefing... Joan, suddenly told us that she wanna go to Batu Cave, since she never went there b4 although Batu Cave is jz few stones away from Genting Klang...
ok... so how? juz ON lorr!
well, since i din having my lunch yet because i wake up quite late on tat day =.= so we decided to go having our lunch at a Lim Chicken Rice Shop at Kajang which is opened by my coursemate Mei mei family...
After tat, we went for the Batu Cave!!!
Heard of this place since primary school and pass by this place for several times, especially whenever i get lost while driving in KL... haha... but this was the very 1st time for me to enter this so-called tourism place.. rm2 for the parking fee... erm...
then goin up there and suddenly yachie feeling not well and thus she din enter the temple ady... even though she ady climb up the so-called vy high n long staircase...
Well, Batu Cave is famous of its staircase, i think evy1 from m'sia should knw abt it... but, after i went there, juz i realize that the staircase is not reli vy long... compared to that 18 floor staircase we nid to climb up when our lovely Sri Pelangi blok 128 lift got problem or too slow, it is jz a small matter.. haha
Well, after visiting the Batu Cave, sudenly hanjian said... "we went kuala selangor eat seafood la" then we reli go there... after drop yachie at her house and waiting for yeelin to get her so-called GPS, but not reli useful... hahah... we going to MU to fetch hueixing oso... Then we go for the Kuala Selangor where i never went there b4... 80km from setapak... erm... near?? depends on wat u all think lor..
Driving for so long quite a reli suffering thg... aiz... it's reli further than i imagined... n finally we reached there... Having our dinner at a dunno-wat-name restaurant and cost RM18 per person... There is also a karaoke there and Serene was proudly invited by us to sing 2 songs there...
After the dinner, we went for the Kampung Kuantan for fireflies seeing... 1st time see so many fireflies there... n also the sky with uncountable stars... erm... quite a romantic place and suitable place for couple... Looking around, in front of me is hueixing... beside of me is yeelin... wahh... soooo xingfu niaa me... two LENG LUI from civil engineering lerr... envy lerr... hahahaha... but actualy quite pity me... hahaha...
After evythg, we decided to go bek ady lorr... On the way bek, yeelin said dun wanna use the road we used when we come ady, coz it is not nice to drive there, so she suggested to tek a nicer, bigger but longer road which pass by klang, shah alam, subang, pj, etc. Then we said, since we ady reach pj, y not we jz stop at SS2 murni for a tea? So yeelin quickly fon meimei's car to tell them tis news.. Below is the conversation... (she foned mei mei)

Lin: Mei mei, u pass ur fon to khaishen now, u r driving, i scare later dangerous, fast, pas to him
(after khaishen answer)
Lin: Khaishen, now i tell u, but u dun answer anythg, n dun let meimei knw abt it... u tell mei mei and pretend tat u dunno the road, then let us direct the road... we are goin to murni now...ok?
Shen: Wat i wan to tell u is... very early ago, mei mei ady switch to loud speaker...
(Then followed by a laugh from meimei car and yeelin start to be paiseh and hang the fon)

But anyhow, meimei car oso drive slower and let my car to cut over it and bring them to murni... lol... Then at last, we let mei mei go bek 1st since her family ady phoned her for few times ady... And my car is going to fetch peter and 4 MU ppl... and finally i reach home at 2.30am... zzz

心，下雨了

2009-03-16T22:54:00.000-07:00

心，下雨了。雨后彩虹？但，我却看不到。如今，雨，再下了一次。。。

三月十五日，星期日。一个信息，把一切给搞清楚了。
之前一切的疑问，大多都在这短短的几句话里明白了。
“我懂一个消息，不懂要不要跟你讲，但已经不是什么秘密了，因为很多人都知道了”
就这一句，我，明白了。

当时的心情，和去年十一月二十五日没两样。想哭，但哭不出来。是我已经学会了放弃吗？还是我早已预了这样的结果？还是人真的是在最伤心时是流不出眼泪的？这突来的消息真的令我顿时不知所措，眼看着两天后要考试的课本，但，根本没心情读下去，再加上生病，真的是没力气去想下一步该怎么走。。。

我不懂到底我还被隐瞒着什么，还有什么是我不懂的，一直以来，我以为至少对你来说，我是个好朋友，但你却什么都瞒着我，甚至现在，你到底有没有欺骗着我，或是利用着我，我不懂，也不敢去想。。。顿时的你，好可怕。。。

你懂吗，你是我这一生里对过最好的人，也从来没为任何人付出到像对你的那么多。。。
为了送礼物给你，通宵了几夜，也绞尽了几个星期的脑汁。虽然我不懂你会不会珍惜它。。。

你对我说那某某东西是你要送给朋友的，我帮你去买。你说是个她，因为你欠她的。你有骗我吗？我不懂。但我了解，他的生日快到了。星期四，而你说最好能在星期一，二里收到。在我还没完成我任务时，你不时会信息我，关心下我，但一旦东西到手了，信息往往都是一去不回的。。。这一切的巧合，很难令我不去想太多。我不懂。只希望你不会骗我。你应该知道，要是你真的是要送给他，而你告诉我事实，我也会帮你的。我现在很害怕，你是因为要买东西给他，而想找人帮忙，又怕我不帮，而欺骗了我，利用了我的感情去达到你的目的。。。但，我希望这一切只是我自己想太多了。。。

我，真的累了。。。不懂该怎么走下去。。。对你，越来越模糊了。。。现在只希望，你会开心快乐幸福，而我依然会默默的在你身边陪伴着你，支持你。。。虽然，或许这一切一切对你来说，是多余的。。。只希望，在你开心会找我分享，伤心时会找我哭诉。。。也会把xx仔永远的放在心里面，哪怕只是个小小的空间，也足够了。。。

我很了解我的心从来没迷路过，这条路是我想要走的那条路，而是这条路太难走了，也太窄了，想挤进去也太多了，我已经尝试努力的走下去，但。。。这条路，有容下我的地方吗？就算是只个小小空间，我，也满足了。。

kelefe的一天

2009-03-12T00:46:00.000-07:00

三月八日。。。星期天。。。
很闷的一天。。。那天早上印象中很早就起身了。。。
不久后，solo king和阿庞也起身了，那前一晚solo king住我家，因为要和阿庞一起搞定“土木工程建筑材料”(civil construction material)的功课，而我无所事事的不懂该做什么好。。。
首先，早上无聊的话，最好去的地方就是巴刹咯！
去那干什么？买菜？买水果？呵呵，等我煮菜啊，慢慢发梦啦，是去买早餐。。。
在去着巴刹的路上，遇到了一个女子，很熟悉的样子，檫肩而过时她看着我，我也看着她，她不就是比我大两年的仪惠咯？也是德玛的嘛。。。是啊，没错是她啊，但蛮奇怪的怎么她会在这里出现。。。跟她打了个招呼就继续各走各的了。。。她应该也会很奇怪吧怎么会在这里遇到我，呵呵～
买完早餐后，在家一边看戏一边吃，一口气看了四集。。。由于不怎么好看，所以懒惰看下去了。。。
中午了，还蛮饱的，因为早上吃了太多呵呵。。。所以就等到了三点多才打算去买午餐。。。
才刚准备要出门时，电话响了。。。是伟忠。。。
“诶，你要去拍广告吗？现在去。。。putrajaya，我载你去。。。一百块，包晚餐”
哇，突然好像有张一百块钞票飞在我眼前了，难道不去咩。。。所以就空着肚子跟着去了。。。
到了putrajaya，大概四点半左右，但绕来绕去，不懂那广告在哪拍，结果问东问西五点半左右才真正的算到达，现在大概整个putrajaya我们都走完了吧。。。
去到了那，大概有六七十个人，华人马来人都有。。。
那是个brycream的广告，听他们说早上已经开始拍了。。。还遇到了一位好像 ika 的马来人，呵呵～
在那里，坐不久后那的负责人就叫我们去排队换衣了，要那种去演唱会的服装（那时要拍的场景是个演唱会）
以为换好衣后很快就可以拍了，哪知。。。等到了七点，还没开始。。。只是无聊的坐在那傻傻的等。。。
不能忍了，就和伟忠的朋友阿财去外面吃些所谓的茶点，超饿的，因为午餐还没来得及吃。。。
有意大利面，糕点和西茶在那。。。
吃完后进去跟伟忠他们说，然后又再陪他们出去吃多一次。。。大概十多分钟后，负责人叫我们全部进去了，好像很紧张这样。。。应该要拍了吧我想。。。
哪知，进去了不久，负责人却跟我们说晚餐已经准备好了，叫我们去吃＝.＝
结果在短短的一小时里面，我吃了午餐＋晚餐。。。呵呵
九点半了，终于他们要开机了。。。
安排好位置，就叫我们找几个人一起扮谈天，做到好像很热闹酱。。。然后两个男主角会在人群中走去前面跟两位女主角讲话，这短短的场景而已。。。花了大概两小时拍=.=　那时的我们站在最后面，所以广告里肯定没有我们的存在。。。说了嘛kelefe呵呵
另个scene是在演唱会了，之前那个应该是说主角们去演唱会前吧～那时负责人把我们分成前面三排，后面三排，中间。。。空的=.=
而我站在后面的中间，摄影机就在我身后，５０％的可能我会在里面，所以看咯，广告出时，如果看到穿红白衣的背影就是我的了呵呵。。。
拍那scene之前，由于要等那摄影机准备好，我无聊起来就跟旁边的马来男子谈天，问我从哪里来，我说玻璃市，然后他旁边的另个马来男子听到就说“哇，玻璃市啊？！很少看到那里的人的咧”他说我好像是他遇过的不懂是第一个还是第二个玻璃市人（玻璃市人真的这样特别吗@@)
过后，他旁边的另个马来男子听到了又说“玻璃市啊？我也是咧。。。”呵呵。。。就这样，我们越谈越起来了。。。
十二点半，终于拍完了，搞了整整八个小时，我想拍出来的应该不到八秒吧。。。
拿了钱，回家，到家也已经半夜一点了。。。就这样，我的第一次kelefe。。。^^

喘不过气

2009-02-26T14:27:00.000-08:00

很快的，已经踏入了week7，这段日子是每个学期最忙的时间了。。。
这几个星期真的是忙得喘不过气来
只有三个字可以形容吧---快死了！

星期一
原本有考试的，工程分析(engineering analysis)，听起来好像很高级的科目吧。。。但其实就是数学一个。但当天的考试取消了，原因是阿彪，那个被我们投诉的教授，由于校方了解他并不会教书，所以延迟了当天的考试，也决定了要换个教授给我们。当天原带着期待的心情看看谁将是所谓的新教授，但，到了课室，看到的，依然是那位熟悉的彪哥。据说，他当天上课时还低声下气的跟我们道歉，而且还有slideshow的，什么“以和为贵” 还有一只snoopy带着一队小狗走来走去，说every team must hv a leader...但，迟到的我，错过了这场好戏。。。

星期二~考试结构分析II(structural analysis II)，也很高级吧。。。但事实上跟我们前几个学期学的东西没两样，只是问题难了点

星期三~整个晚上赶通宵道德的功课。。。一个人做两个人以上的份，不通宵能赶得及做完？发梦！

星期四~早上终于赶完了，8点上课，但我们九点多才弄完，再很紧张的赶到学校去，害怕老师走了我们也就完蛋了，好彩总算来得及。。。虽然这次的assignment是有史以来做得最不满意的一份

星期五~要交实验报告，最好笑的是，要交了，而我却还没做完，还在这里写部落格 T.T 来不及了啦。。。现在已经六点四十五了！！！discussion还没动到！！！

快疯了。。。通宵都不懂通了几天了。。。我，会忙死吗？

彪哥的道歉~

2009-02-22T06:01:00.000-08:00

彪哥的道歉~

"My sincere apology to all of you. I admit my mistakes and willing to change to serve the students better. I hope all of you can give me a chance. I promise to help you in whatever way I can. Can you help deliver this message to your classmates? I will still see you in Tutorial and the lecture will be new lecturer. Anyway I hope you can give me a chance to correct the situation."

请大家原谅他吧~

记得我永远都支持你！虽然。。。我是策划+呼唤土木工程学生投诉你的其中一位功臣xD

ps: 彪哥=黑社会老大？错了，而是我们永远最崇拜最帅的教授！！！

心情@写照

2009-02-21T06:04:00.001-08:00

问我
心情如何？
坦白说
我不懂

有种很矛盾，莫名的感觉
上网只为遇见你
但却很害怕看到你的名字出现在上线名单里
更害怕看到“他”
总有千千万万的东西想跟你说
但却说不出口

曾经无话不谈的我们
曾经聊通宵的我们
曾经在同个时间说出同一句话的我们
曾经互相支持对方的我们
曾经了解对方的我们
许多的曾经曾经都发生在我们之间过
虽然从没开始过
但感觉，已经在我心里慢慢发芽了

要是知道会如此辛苦
要是要有这样的结局
要是注定不能在一起
为何当初要安排我俩相遇，相识
要是注定只能当朋友
为何开始时就要走错路
这一开始走的
并不是普通朋友的路线

曾经想放弃
曾经想忘掉
但能吗？
我希望我能
但也很清楚地知道
其实我并不想这样结束了

。说好。的。幸福呢。