快接近四年，我没写部落格，没写日记了。
但今天，很想写。
有时，会想，人长大了，是一件好事吗？
一切都变得复杂了，快乐似乎没那么简单了。
朋友依然很多，但可以一起出来的越来越少了。
有时，会想，自己到底是怎么了？
是我不好吗？还是自己的命长得不好？
从小，我就知道自己不是非常幸运的那一个。
或许，在家庭和学业上我是幸运的。
除了这些，似乎就没了。
健康，爱情，友情，事业什么的，都好像离我越来越远了。
累了。
或许我真的比不上别人吧。
或许这就是我的命。
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Untitled
Don't know. Don't know what should I do. I know there is something wrong.
Although you never told me, you never wrote to me, I know, and you know about it also.
I know it is some kind of "hiding", is one type of your "self-protecting" that prevent you to drop deeper and deeper.
I don't know what do you want. I don't know why all of it come in such a sudden. Is it any mistake that I have done. I know your feeling is not good, maybe this way can reduce the hurt, or you may feel better in such a way.
Whether you can see this post or not, I just want you to be happy. Promise me, happy always. Smile, and no more tears. I will try also. =)
Although you never told me, you never wrote to me, I know, and you know about it also.
I know it is some kind of "hiding", is one type of your "self-protecting" that prevent you to drop deeper and deeper.
I don't know what do you want. I don't know why all of it come in such a sudden. Is it any mistake that I have done. I know your feeling is not good, maybe this way can reduce the hurt, or you may feel better in such a way.
Whether you can see this post or not, I just want you to be happy. Promise me, happy always. Smile, and no more tears. I will try also. =)
Thursday, June 2, 2011
I thought...
I thought that I can really "see open" already;
I thought I can really accept the fact;
I thought I can really be so "xiao sha";
I thought I can really be so tough;
I thought I can really be so optimistic;
I thought...
I thought...
However, things are not as what I thought.
Maybe, these are just what I thought.
Am I just hide myself from the reality?
I told myself before, don't so easily drop eye tears.
You've bring me back to the reality.
I couldn't control myself and eye tears were dropped last night.
Maybe, I am not that tough as I imagined.
I thought I can really accept the fact;
I thought I can really be so "xiao sha";
I thought I can really be so tough;
I thought I can really be so optimistic;
I thought...
I thought...
However, things are not as what I thought.
Maybe, these are just what I thought.
Am I just hide myself from the reality?
I told myself before, don't so easily drop eye tears.
You've bring me back to the reality.
I couldn't control myself and eye tears were dropped last night.
Maybe, I am not that tough as I imagined.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Weird feeling...
She enters my life.
But yet, I don't know what is the feeling actually.
It is quite a confusing one.
Don't know what to do, don't know how to do.
It is such a weird feeling.
Waiting for her? Don't think so much. Just follow the feeling and just depends on fate.
=)
But yet, I don't know what is the feeling actually.
It is quite a confusing one.
Don't know what to do, don't know how to do.
It is such a weird feeling.
Waiting for her? Don't think so much. Just follow the feeling and just depends on fate.
=)
Graduating
Yesterday, the result of my Y4 S3 have been released. As this is my final semester in UTAR, thus
Just back from Phuket 2 days ago. Went there for 5 days 6 nights. Why 5 days 6 nights? this was because we went at night and back at morning. Why so, because only in these times, EVERYONE CAN FLY... other times, the flight ticket was quiteee expensive...
I wished to talk about the trip here actually.. but i think if i reli got to talk abt it, it will surely be a long long long post.. thus, jz forget it.. hehe.. no need to write it here, coz i think the memory there wont be forgotten in my mind forever... anyway, friendship forever! and, UTAR, MY CHOICE...
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
五年@UTAR - Degree篇
As mentioned in previous blog, miao and i changed our courses to engineering, thus the initial 4 dermaian, had separated into two groups, yiyan and lijong stayed at PJ for actuarial science, me and miao went to setapak. But not long later, before the degree started, miao was asked by his dad to transfer to KDU, Penang, thus left me alone at setapak...
That time Civil Engineering had about 100 students, which were separated into 4 groups. Yizhong and i both were in the same tutorial group, CI G3. The very first day, I got to know Hongzi, as he was sitting beside me, if not mistaken. I still remembered he asked me how many girls in our class, then he left out one of the girl. LOL
The next person I got to know, should be Meimei. That time we were selecting classrep, and her name was the easiest to remember, so I voted for her, not only voted, but shouted to support. Since then, i got more and more friends in my tutorial group.
I still remember, there was one day, blood donation, I followed the friends for my very first blood donation in my life. We were brought there by Koksheng, if not mistaken. Then Ah Khoo was at the bed beside me, and that time should be his first time, I guess, because he even took out his k750 to capture the blood "supplied" by him as a memory. The blood donation was also becoming the topic of very first presentation of mine in degree life, which was about "first blood"...
Throughout these years, especially the beginning 2 years, we one gang of CI G3 used to singK, watch movie, went jusco for lunch, went TBR for lunch, went Genting, Jln Ipoh Bakuteh, etc etc in one group. That's quite enjoyable. However, as time passed, the "member" of this gang kept changing... Some added into this gang, and some left this gang due to some misunderstanding...
Soon, it was my 3rd year in degree. I joined the organizing committee for 2009 May Intake orientation, which opened a new "door" for me to get to know more and more friends in my campus. Ya, i knew quite a lot of friends via the orientation. First, Ken, who was in the same RCM team with me, and became my baobeizhu at last. Then I knew some juniors in ice breaking as well. One of them is Xinqi. Ya, I got to mention her, as she was one of the "main root" for me to get to know others more friends... Then, I joined SRC, joined Traveler's Den committee and also PMP.. let me know more and more friends from different courses and different campus. Especially after UTAR BALL, all of us became much closer...
Thus, throughout the 3rd year of degree, the gang that I mix the most were still the CI G3 gang, and also SRC+gang... (Khenghooi, Ken, Sally, Kimlup, Ban, Meisze, Kelvin, Peiseen..)... Regarding Peiseen, how do I know her? It was due to Xinqi, as mentioned just now. We got to be so friends suddenly in such a short time, it was because of the case of Fiona, I think. Because of one hp num that I accidentally past to someone at canteen, LOL, thus causing me have to treat them drink vitagen and buy pearl milktea as apologize... In this 3rd year, I had my busiest period in UTAR, but yet the most meaningful year, i think... I organized utar ball, festival, orientation, trips to sg lembing and pulau redang in this year, from which I have learned a lot and know a lot of friends... At the end of year3, I joined a camp of YMM, from where I got to know some friends from China... although we have less contact already now... hehe
Soon, Year 4. In this year, because of CityTour, which was not really related to me actually, I got to know 3 more friends. CityTour is an orientation program that brings the freshmen to travel at KL in one day. It was initially organized by Traveler's Den committee and I was asked to incharge of this. But, I have my own Redang trip to organize that time, so I asked my didi aka Peiseen to handle it. Thus, she pulled her coursemates along, Wanjun, Choiyan and Meiyun... In this year, due to resigning the post of SRC, I had more free times. So, I had more time to play futsal with coursemates... which made me become closer with some friends whom I was not that close with them initially... Wenyi, Kakwai, Yeehong, Boonleong, Ah Siong, Kokwei, YY, Yikloong (and Victoria), Season, Joseph, Choongyang, Sintat, Kuekok, Tiongbun, etc etc etc... (too many already...)... We even had formed a team for the mini futsal tournament, namely DREAM TEAM, leaded by Yikloong... The teammates consisted of 7 best futsal players of the year LOL... first and foremost, the captain Yikloong (defender), then the strikers JJ + Tiongbun (or YY?) + Kuekok with the defenders Pingy Ping + YongKiat, and last but not least the keeper Teckwei (me lorr hehehe)...
Other than the futsal gang, there is one new gang that I joined in year4, which erm... ji mui gang? perhaps... consists of the city tour gangs of Geh, Lag, Ju... Yea, since I m Peiseen's jie, "mou la la" I also become jie of them... One of the most unforgettable memory with them was the seremban mamak... and also the long long long dark road without any light... LOL... And because of them, I also got to know their housemates, including Ding, Xi, Bat...
So fast, 6 more days might be my last day in UTAR as a student. Conclusion, although UTAR didn't give me much uni life that I imagined before I entered it, I still enjoy my uni life... It would be my most enjoyable and unforgettable period... I hope that after this, all of us can still keep in touch, although with the primary and secondary school experiences, I knew that it is hard, and it is impossible to get everyone keep in contact. Even if we can still contact, but the relationship between us will be not as closed as now. I don't want to lose any one of you all... I do really appreciate the fate between us... A life is incomplete without friends... So, no matter what happened last time, that made us misunderstood on each other, any "cold war" or etc, forget about all of them...
Last but not least, I LOVE YOU ALL... and DON'T FORGET ME... Next time, if meet me somewhere else, don't just hi and bye, at least find out some coffeeshop and have a chat... Or even if don't meet me, you all will be also welcomed to give me a call, my handphone will on 24 hours for all of you...
(just now at 1U juz met one of my best friends during primary school... whom my friendship with him had became worsen already due to lack of contact since secondary school... i don't hope that it would happen again...)
That time Civil Engineering had about 100 students, which were separated into 4 groups. Yizhong and i both were in the same tutorial group, CI G3. The very first day, I got to know Hongzi, as he was sitting beside me, if not mistaken. I still remembered he asked me how many girls in our class, then he left out one of the girl. LOL
The next person I got to know, should be Meimei. That time we were selecting classrep, and her name was the easiest to remember, so I voted for her, not only voted, but shouted to support. Since then, i got more and more friends in my tutorial group.
I still remember, there was one day, blood donation, I followed the friends for my very first blood donation in my life. We were brought there by Koksheng, if not mistaken. Then Ah Khoo was at the bed beside me, and that time should be his first time, I guess, because he even took out his k750 to capture the blood "supplied" by him as a memory. The blood donation was also becoming the topic of very first presentation of mine in degree life, which was about "first blood"...
Throughout these years, especially the beginning 2 years, we one gang of CI G3 used to singK, watch movie, went jusco for lunch, went TBR for lunch, went Genting, Jln Ipoh Bakuteh, etc etc in one group. That's quite enjoyable. However, as time passed, the "member" of this gang kept changing... Some added into this gang, and some left this gang due to some misunderstanding...
Soon, it was my 3rd year in degree. I joined the organizing committee for 2009 May Intake orientation, which opened a new "door" for me to get to know more and more friends in my campus. Ya, i knew quite a lot of friends via the orientation. First, Ken, who was in the same RCM team with me, and became my baobeizhu at last. Then I knew some juniors in ice breaking as well. One of them is Xinqi. Ya, I got to mention her, as she was one of the "main root" for me to get to know others more friends... Then, I joined SRC, joined Traveler's Den committee and also PMP.. let me know more and more friends from different courses and different campus. Especially after UTAR BALL, all of us became much closer...
Thus, throughout the 3rd year of degree, the gang that I mix the most were still the CI G3 gang, and also SRC+gang... (Khenghooi, Ken, Sally, Kimlup, Ban, Meisze, Kelvin, Peiseen..)... Regarding Peiseen, how do I know her? It was due to Xinqi, as mentioned just now. We got to be so friends suddenly in such a short time, it was because of the case of Fiona, I think. Because of one hp num that I accidentally past to someone at canteen, LOL, thus causing me have to treat them drink vitagen and buy pearl milktea as apologize... In this 3rd year, I had my busiest period in UTAR, but yet the most meaningful year, i think... I organized utar ball, festival, orientation, trips to sg lembing and pulau redang in this year, from which I have learned a lot and know a lot of friends... At the end of year3, I joined a camp of YMM, from where I got to know some friends from China... although we have less contact already now... hehe
Soon, Year 4. In this year, because of CityTour, which was not really related to me actually, I got to know 3 more friends. CityTour is an orientation program that brings the freshmen to travel at KL in one day. It was initially organized by Traveler's Den committee and I was asked to incharge of this. But, I have my own Redang trip to organize that time, so I asked my didi aka Peiseen to handle it. Thus, she pulled her coursemates along, Wanjun, Choiyan and Meiyun... In this year, due to resigning the post of SRC, I had more free times. So, I had more time to play futsal with coursemates... which made me become closer with some friends whom I was not that close with them initially... Wenyi, Kakwai, Yeehong, Boonleong, Ah Siong, Kokwei, YY, Yikloong (and Victoria), Season, Joseph, Choongyang, Sintat, Kuekok, Tiongbun, etc etc etc... (too many already...)... We even had formed a team for the mini futsal tournament, namely DREAM TEAM, leaded by Yikloong... The teammates consisted of 7 best futsal players of the year LOL... first and foremost, the captain Yikloong (defender), then the strikers JJ + Tiongbun (or YY?) + Kuekok with the defenders Pingy Ping + YongKiat, and last but not least the keeper Teckwei (me lorr hehehe)...
Other than the futsal gang, there is one new gang that I joined in year4, which erm... ji mui gang? perhaps... consists of the city tour gangs of Geh, Lag, Ju... Yea, since I m Peiseen's jie, "mou la la" I also become jie of them... One of the most unforgettable memory with them was the seremban mamak... and also the long long long dark road without any light... LOL... And because of them, I also got to know their housemates, including Ding, Xi, Bat...
So fast, 6 more days might be my last day in UTAR as a student. Conclusion, although UTAR didn't give me much uni life that I imagined before I entered it, I still enjoy my uni life... It would be my most enjoyable and unforgettable period... I hope that after this, all of us can still keep in touch, although with the primary and secondary school experiences, I knew that it is hard, and it is impossible to get everyone keep in contact. Even if we can still contact, but the relationship between us will be not as closed as now. I don't want to lose any one of you all... I do really appreciate the fate between us... A life is incomplete without friends... So, no matter what happened last time, that made us misunderstood on each other, any "cold war" or etc, forget about all of them...
Last but not least, I LOVE YOU ALL... and DON'T FORGET ME... Next time, if meet me somewhere else, don't just hi and bye, at least find out some coffeeshop and have a chat... Or even if don't meet me, you all will be also welcomed to give me a call, my handphone will on 24 hours for all of you...
(just now at 1U juz met one of my best friends during primary school... whom my friendship with him had became worsen already due to lack of contact since secondary school... i don't hope that it would happen again...)
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