lazy.. moody.. sleepy...

lazy...

working nowadays... becum much lazier ady... evryday at site oso find ppl chat here chat there...
work?sorry... not reali work... i admit...
usualy my working hours (8am-5pm) is past like this... (imagine urself)

morning-
8.30am reach (yes, 8.30am, u r not see wrongly... my working hour start 8am but i reach 8.30am)
then if got meeting, go meeting til abt 10am...
if no meeting, go chat with supervisor or subcon trainee til abt 10am also...
then 10am liddat eat breakfast... then chat again, maybe help supervisor tek photo of the site la...
then 12pm go makan again..
usually eat till 1pm+++ de... then cum bek maybe online a while... then walk around the site... juz simply walk.... walk... walk... then time vy fast one mar... 3pm+ ady lor... yumcha again... then chat again... then print foto awhile... then 5pm... balik rumah!!!!



moody...
nowadays, i can realise tat the feeling is differnet.. evythg had changed...i juz wan everythg to be fine.. i juz hope tat u will be happy...can hear u smiling, laughing.. but...nw evry msg oso seem like... undescribable.. i hope to be happy as well... but i cant... mayb evyone see me always smile, laugh here laugh there...but is it true? the song "ni bu shi zhen zheng de kuai le" by MAYDAY.. is reli a good song.. yesterday xmas eve, went to sunway, saw a clown, jump here jump there, act like reli crazy, sumo laugh there, dance happily... but, do him reli happy? is it true?

sleepy...
everyday sleepy... i dunno why... at office sumtime oso slept... maybe i reli tired... reli... reli.. tired already...

爱一个人好辛苦

喜欢跟爱有什么不同？

喜欢，是喜欢跟那人在一起，喜欢跟她说话，玩耍。闷时会想约她出来喝杯茶，逛下街，聊下天的。可能，就算她在忙着，也会死拉她出来的。喜欢一个人，当知道她伤心时，会一边想办法让她开心，但另一边可以跟别人嘻嘻哈哈的。。。喜欢就像是一种行动或动词吧。。。

爱，不算是动词，它是一种感觉。它可以不需要任何行动，任何动作。可能不会约她出来，因为担心她不方便。担心她在忙着。不会在闷时想起她，因为是每时每刻都在想念着她。。。醒来，第一个出现在脑海中的是她，睡了最后一个想着的同样也是她，就连发梦，也想梦见她。。。会无时无刻的望着手机，查看会不会收到了她的信息，就算明知道手机明明就没震动过。。。爱一个人，当她伤心时，你的情绪也会被她给影响的。就算你也在伤心着，也会想尽办法令她开心。要是失败了，你也不会好过。情绪也会很低落。

其实爱一个人真的好痛苦，爱一个不爱自己的，更痛苦。看着一个自己爱的人痛苦，那感觉更痛苦。

女孩，不管你做什么事，做什么决定，男孩都会永远在这里默默的支持你。。。因为男孩，只希望女孩快乐，开心，幸福。知道女孩幸福了，男孩才愿意放手。。。

gud luck to me

what had happened? i really don't know. Maybe i am really stupid, even stupider that i thought.
Happy, sad, happy, sad...
I know everything had changed. At least i can feel that.
I'm really tired. But i won't give up easily.
Teckwei, GOOD LUCK!

missing u...

Maybe i m stupid, maybe i m wasting time, maybe i m trying to achieve something that is impossible... alot of maybe, maybe...

I know, a lot people will think that i m stupid, wasting my time for waiting for something that is nearly 99% impossible to happen... I think, if my friends doing so, I will also surely feel that he is useless, stupid!!!

However, is it evyone need to be clever every time? Is it if we know that the thing is almost impossible then we should give it up? I don't think so... Nobody understand about the feeling... Even if 99% impossible, there is still 1% for us to hope for... While doing anything, don't think of is it worth or not, if u think u want to do it, just go ahead... Then u will not regret in future...

Maybe there will not be anybody to support me, but, for me, i will not give up easily...

Again, today, is a cloudy day... raining... my heart is raining as well...

he,she?happy?

change.. u shud realize it also, rite?
if he dun msg her, i think, she wont msg him at all...
or now, even if he msg, she also, mostly, wont reply him as well...
what had happened? i think, she knw the reason herself, and he knw abt it clearly also...
what to do?the mind is totally blank... the world just becum colorless in the eye...
Whole person is lost, he dunno what he suppose to do, and suppose not to do...
However, no matter how, he will always support her... for every decision she made...
as long as she is happy, he will be happy...

无题

是不是发生了什么事？ 忽然之间，女孩的态度好像180度的改变了。

信息越来越少了，男孩想打电话给女孩，但女孩连信息也没回复，男孩心想，她是不是在忙呢？她是不是想和男孩保持距离了呢？还是，还是，许多的还是。。。

或许，很多人会觉得男孩很傻，很笨。做了些不会有结果的期待。
但，结果，是重要的吗？
两人之间的感情，肯定要用结果来决定一切吗？
喜欢一件事，就要去追求，就算，得到的结果不是所期待的，但，至少，努力过了，人生才不会有遗憾。

change uni le lar... utar CI no hope...

3words... cham cham cham...
3 panel members for the interviews... siti, ismail, elias...
n 5 persons in my group... Y3, Y2 n Y1...
n one word... DIE

UTAR CIVIL ENGINEERING... sorry... no hope ady... Want get recognized by BEM, IEM?? take extra exam lar!

Initially, we tot tat we will kena Elias.. n yizhong them kena ismail... who knw enter the interview room, the ismail come in... n v start to be vy sui..

he asked alot of thing... even yizhong them out ady, then the nex group cum in n finish ady.. tat tok jangut ismail stil asking!!!!!

We expected tat he will ask those general ques like the course obj... our opinion on university.. wat the life here etc... yup.. he asked... but thn suddenly he said... OK now i wan test abt the outcome...

What is the arch system... advantage?? Come in my mind is compression, but i nt sure abt it.. scare later say wrongly lagi cham... so i din answer it... end up he answer himself..

What is elasticity... Define stiffness, flexiblity,poisson ratio.... Hw to classify soil...sketch Bending Moment Diagram (indeterminate one)!!! where is the tension, compression area... Wat is water hammer??!! define hydraulic jump!!! etc etc etc.. (* i ask dr.khoo, she dunno abt water hammer as well...xD)

siao!! after exam i sure forget ady de marr...
so... haiz... it's ok... as he said...

so... suan le lar... jiayou lorr evy1...

转变。。。

忽来的消息，忽来的反应，我完全没预测到。。。
顿时的男孩，真的不懂得怎么回应。。。


一直以来，男孩很害怕，很担心，会做错事，会讲错话。不敢说太多，不敢说太明，担心女孩会开始对男孩有了顾虑，开始保持应有的距离，从此就变成了再也普通不了的朋友。男孩不想这事情发生，真的不想。。。


这一切，该结束了吗？男孩的答案，也许只有两个字 “不懂”。。 。
这一切是值得吗？
这一切会有结果吗？


女孩开始对男孩坦白，男孩也是。以后的男孩和女孩故事该会是怎样的结局呢？
或许，故事已经结束了；也或许，故事从来都没开始过。
不敢想，也不想去想。一切，就顺其自然。。。只希望，大家都能快乐，开心，幸福。



“爱情里最残忍的暧昧 是我明明知道我爱你 而我们却只是好朋友”

Y3 S1 study week...

Frankly, i know that this semester i have become very, super lazy for academic...
Actually, i already predict that this semester, my result will surely drop from heaven to ground, or maybe paradise to hell... This semester, i suddenly join a lot of activities... make myself super busy of it... even now, study week, i still have to worry of the trip organized by my society... still need to update and deal with people from outside... i know tat, since the day that i join such committee, i will be sacrificing my studies, but i just wanna learn more thing during my university life, university is a place for us to learn not only academic, but also communication, leadership, or organizing skill, and also to build up our friendship right? But, i just know that i am not yet ready to sacrifice my result... really, not...

This semester, I have 5 subjects... okay, i arrange the subjects in the sequence of which comes first for this final exam. .

1st- fluid mechanics 2 (i will never study anything related to water again in my life, hate it.. how the fluid flow is its business, not i wanna go swim in it, why need to study it?! ><)

2nd- principle of electrical engineering (weird huh? i study civil engineering, but i never have a subject named 'principle of civil engineering', but i have to study principle of electrical engineering now... Wondering if my friends who are taking electrical engineering got to study 'principle of civil engineering' or not @@)

3rd- construction technology (a subject taught by our dearest Dr. Low Kaw Sai again... this subject, totally theory... i also don't know what is it about... seem like the theory about geotechnical engineering only. And just know that it seem like quite useless for me... because i hate memorizing the most!!!)

4th- geotechnical engineering (well, this subject all calculation, seem like i SHOULD like it a lot, because i prefer calculation than memorizing... But, i kept sleeping, chatting, coming late for this class... so till now, i also don't know what had i leard in this subject)

5th- structural concrete design (this subject i think is most important and related most to my field... but i can't find any interest in it... why? because of the good lecturer and good syllabus of this subject... till now, i think everyone of us still don't know what is the accurate method to solve the question... since the lecturer always "erm... we assume like this"... assume?? ya, she told us that there is no fix answer for the question... everything just assume.... and somemore, maybe the next class, she will tell you that she did wrongly in the previous lecture =.=")

ok, thats all for the subjects in my semester of this... no mood of studying these thing... i think, i just suitable to study those fundamental subjects... mathematics, statics etc. Those technical subjects, please, don't disturb me ><

Especially this study week, i touch only the subject that i THOUGHT is the easiest... principle of electrical engineering.. 1 subject in 1 week... i gonna die soon... i don't know why i will be so lazy... somemore i study this subject and that thing that is special is... i don't understand and cannot solve the tutorial question at all even if i have finish studied this subject...

Eh, ya.. i studied 1 more subject also... STATICS! yup... now i think my statics for 3D is quite pro already.. may score A if i take the exam.. haha.. but, useless for my subjects this semester.. ><

Besides, i really unlike the feeling that people keep thinking that i had really study a lot, but i am actually not.. and the feeling that people keep on saying that i very pro in certain subject already, or maybe need not study also can score very good result in the exam, saying that i am very fake that i said i haven't study at all... this will be annoying me since it will give me a lot of stress... if i really study, i will honestly tell you... it is not anything that is shameful... but if i haven't study anything, please, i am serious...

start worrying of my coming exam result... although a lot of my friends ask me not to be so stress, ask me to study hard, ask me to "add oil"... i think i may disappoint you all this semester...
GIVE UP? i hope i will not...

小丽。一个邻家女孩

小丽是个邻家女孩，一个乖巧但有点内向的女孩。
但内心的她，却是个一直有点想让自己生活更加的多姿多彩的女孩，所以难免有时会想想试着放肆自己，尝试下当下个坏女孩的感觉。
不懂从几时开始，环境的影响，让她慢慢的有了怨恨。怨恨，是为了向保护自己。
曾经被出卖的她，变得越来越不敢相信任何人，除了她自己。因为在她心里，只有自己，是不会出卖、背叛自己的。
外表很懦弱的她，却装出一副很坚强的样子，但其实，她也不过是个希望有人保护，有人了解，有人爱护的小女孩。
内心总有着很多烦恼，很多心事。但总自己会一个人承受，从不告诉任何人。不认识她的人，会觉得她很冷漠，很安静，也或许，很骄傲。
想交朋友的她，却不懂得如何跟人沟通。她总希望可以有个信得过的知己，却找不到。想和朋友促进感情，却找不到那么的一个机会。
想让自己可以变得更快乐，更外向的她，难免会试着叛逆，难免会做错事，难免会遇到挫折。但，有哪个人没年轻过，没叛逆过；有哪个人敢说自己没做过任何错事；有哪个人没遇过波浪的。最重要的是，叛逆了懂回头；做错了懂知错、改过；遇到困难懂去克服它。这才是长大，变成熟的一个阶段。
私底下的小丽，是个喜欢宁静的人。喜欢看看海的她，只要望着一片无际的海洋，可以让她逃离烦人的世界，也可以让她找回真正的自己。她，向往自由，却被紧紧地绑着。。
其实，小丽只希望可以快乐，她，没错。她只想拥有一班好朋友，可以开开心心的过日子，不想被人欺负，想保护自己。。。
只要她认真寻找，她会找到一个值得自己相信的好朋友，也会找到真正让自己开心的方法。。。

回家。。。

这次是我进入degree的第一次载studyweek时回来。之前，除了foundation，我从来不会回家的。但这次，如果我不回来，也许得等到明年才能回了。时间被排得紧紧的。。。

16/9-28/9 ：考试
1-2/10 : 去关丹
5-7/10：去柔佛比赛
12/10-31/12　：开始工作

唉，　命苦。。。　

我这次是９月４日就回来了，那天刚刚赶完１４个星期的assignment，就是那个起屋子给原主民但是过后他又不要建的那个。。。赶了整个通宵，弄到４。５５ｐｍ才搞定，５点得交了，赶着印，ｂｉｎｄｉｎｇ，到大学时已经５。１０ｐｍ了。。。打给风扇，又不听电话，ｐｉｇｅｏｎｈｏｌｅ又剩下几本ａｓｓｉｇｎｍｅｎｔ罢了，应该是被视为late submission了吧，但，好在我们有高人相助哈哈哈。。　

那天一回到家，就开始收拾东西了，因为得赶去ｐｕｄｕ买巴士票，第一次，当场买当场回，如果没有票，就再扛着重重的书包去三姐那的。但是，在我出门前，忽然找不到我的手表，现在也还蛮担心的，没有那手表，感觉周身不自在。。。我老豆在我中四时送我的咧，从我那时每次考试都会戴着它的，希望回到ｋｌ时可以找回来　><

收拾着时，宝贝猪（别误会，是个男的。。。ｋｅｎ）在ｍｓｎ问我要不要去ｍｓ．ｃｈｅｒｙｌ　家喝酒，开ｐａｒｔｙ，看戏哦。。。但他没去。。。（ｍｓ．ｃｈｅｒｙｌ：ＵＴＡＲ　ＤＳＡ officer)。。。 我怎样去啦，回家大过天咧。。呵呵。。。不久后，kelvin又打电话来了，也是叫我去，结果我又拒绝了咯。。。呵呵

9点，赶着下来去pudu，一出电梯，听到一声“teckwei”从后面传来。。。哇，看到kelvin，miss ong他们一大班。。。还以为他们这么好心来送我，哪里知道原来他们是泊车后要走去ms cheryl家（才懂，原来ms cheryl住我家那里罢了，哈哈）

到了ｐｕｄｕ，买１１点的巴士票，就去了ｋｆｃ吃一人晚餐。。。可怜。。。在那里坐到１０。５５ｐｍ就赶着跑去巴士那里。。。那白痴巴士忽然换了停的地方，好彩我找得到，不然就不用回了。。。　

六点半到加央，当天，miao信息来说他回来了，问要不要出来。。。过后又说天杰约去kfc。。什么？！ｋｆｃ？唉。。。又再来？！算啦。。。就去啦。。。miao说他为了我回来的哦，难道不给面子咩。。虽然让他在我家等了一下子。。。　哈哈
结果那晚我们（我，天杰，ｍｉａｏ，思贤）就在ｋｆｃ那呆了差不多一小时，真的只是呆而已，没买到半样东西，ｋｆｃ的老板应该会很讨厌我们吧哈哈。。。（因为太多人了，没有人愿意牺牲去排队，哈哈）。。。　结果我们换去海之味，也加了一个ａｎｄｙ。。。

第二天，没什么事情发生。。。只是我睡觉，上网罢了。。。唉。。。废的一天。。。

第三天，刚才。。。也没什么特别的事，二姐的朋友从槟城来这里找房间，不懂算不算可怜，被派来加央医院做工。。。然后二姐和老豆就陪他们去找房间咯。。。好人咧。。。当然啦，我家人嘛，有我的遗传的咧^^　下午，和女孩出去，很久没见到她了，大概。。。快一年了吧。。。这次出去，没之前的那么不自在了，还蛮轻松的。。。看海，很久没看到海了咧。。。虽然，难看了点，但也算是海啦。。。　呵呵。。。要回去了，她也要走了，不懂以后再相见的日子是几时。。。

回来学业了。。。这次，完全是。。。几乎放弃了。。。原本以为读ｅｌｅｃｔｒｉｃａｌ会满容易的。。。还好啦，读时满容易，做练习时，唉，不说了啦。。。越说越伤心。。。算了啦。。。　

晚安了大家。。。有机会，满想出去看看星空的，满想念之前躺在沙滩看星星的感觉（和weihao一起，两个男人一起看，浪漫咧～）。。。在ｋｌ，没海边，没星星。。。唉。。。

这几天的我。。。唉

国庆日了咯。。。
52年了，今年的国庆日，应该可以说是我在这里过得最国庆的一次。
参了src，所以无端端的得负责国庆日的展览（虽然我。。。好像。。。没什么贡献的）。。。
其实我是有工作做的，但，因为技术上的点点问题，忘了转闹钟，手机忘了开声音，结果忘了起身，忘了准备茶点给vip =.="

八月三十日晚上，bear/sr korkor 打电话给我。叫我去晚餐哦。。。还有美诗/sr sousou和kelvin。。以为吃个晚餐而已咯，结果，忽然就去了titiwangsa 公园，还有dataran merdeka，要看烟花哦。。。结果。。。到了那里，果然很多很多人，还有个大营幕在那的草场上，那时大概11。45pm，我们就坐在草上看电视咯，tv2那时播着有关历史的电影，感觉上满好看的其实。。。但我们看时已经要完了。。。所以只看到一幕，是播着umno-mca的聚会，然后东姑在台上说他们要去英国争取独立，但不够钱，所以那时就很多人捐钱，满感动的。。。呵呵。。。
过后，看着旁边的大钟楼，快十二点了。结果就 “咚咚咚”。。。竟然没人倒数的哦，只是响了不久，就有几个人在乱喊乱叫。。。然后几个人站起来走回去。。。一些人在路边乱乱跳舞。。。结果，我们就很无奈的走回去车那里。。。烟花？发梦啦。。。

八月三十一日，和弟弟女儿出去看戏，还有一位好像是什么bbq的 lim。。。 去klcc 看 orphan。。。还不错的一部戏，只是没想象中的那么恐怖。。。只是后面满紧张的。。。哟，第一次跟女神女佣看戏咧。。。09年8月31日，这天不能忘掉咯。。。哈哈哈。。。看2pm的，我却1。45pm 才从蕉赖弟弟家赶过去，以为迟到了啦。。。结果。。。 呵呵，还好啦。。。 哈哈哈哈哈。。。
过后，去mv吃sushi，我人生中第一次的shashimi，相隔不懂五六年没吃了的sushi，统统在这一天吃了。。。 呵呵。。。过后，载弟弟去timesquare那里找家人，结果，迷路了。。。走到。。。pj。。。再弯个大弯才去到目的地。。。真的是。。。厉害到。。。
过后哦，就去三姐家咯，还车给她，再等khoo来载我们回setapak，因为bear/sr korkor叫去他家火锅哦，也是满突然的。。。八点开始的，但我们10点才到。。。女王女佣也有去。。。之前还担心他们俩会不习惯，结果，我的担心是多余的，因为，他们俩竟然玩游戏时还比我疯狂哈哈哈。。。 这样一搞，就6点早上了。。。

今天呢，4。30pm就去了pj。。。去和那里src弄个joint event-merdeka week exhibition。。。好听是我们联办，不好听就是我们是他们的下属，被他们点来点去。。。我们是客人，来帮他们做东西，一句谢谢都没有，还丢下我们在那里，自己回家了。。。好，我喜欢！够爽快！
过后就和ms ong去 sentosa 吃晚餐。。。快9点半了才回家。。。

明天（等下）。。。开始就快疯了。。。开始忙到快死了。。。bridge competition的开会，traveler's den 的开会（应该没去了）。。。 过后再讨论assignment，晚上又要开始赶assignment 和准备presentation的资料了。。。唉，最惨的都是那烂风扇的assignment！！很烦很烦很烦！！！！！

（*烂风扇~我的其中一位教授 lam foong sin）

week 14...

要考试了，读书读书读书。。。一直出现在我脑海里。。。
但，书，是有读，但读的是。。。脸书，也就是全世界都很出名的。。。facebook！！！

下星期，要交assignment了，起屋子给一个叫ASHALANEE的原住民。在金宝的。到现在我都不懂那ASHALANEE是个男还是个女的。。。只懂他很大胆，竟然敢住我们起的屋子。。。但，几个月前听说他不要住了。。。算聪明点了吧。。。呵呵。。。不然，倒下来也不懂谁要去负责。。。

现在，家里没什么人，全部该回家乡的都回了。。。剩下我和弟弟罢了。。。弟弟不是我真的弟弟，是一个ktar的，为什么叫他弟弟，我也不懂。。就习惯了。。。可能他不是妹妹吧。。。所以就叫他弟弟咯。。。

对了，说到妹妹，突然看到秀琴的部落格。。。突然看到我的名字在她最新的日记。。。呵呵，她借了我的一句话。。。很久很久前写的。。。想不到我写的东西也那么有意思哦。。。哈哈哈。。。（http://gyrenakhim.blogspot.com/2009/08/blog-post_29.html）

《哥的话,嘻嘻，德威，就借着我用这句你的话，
“我很了解我的心从来没迷路过，这条路是我想要走的那条路，而是这条路太难走了，也太窄了，想挤进去也太多了，我已经尝试努力的走下去，但。。。这条路，有容下我的地方吗？就算是只个小小空间，我，也满足了。。”
这是我妈？》

我也蛮感性的哦原来。。。 哈哈哈哈！！！！

This semester... Tired

tired... tired... tired...
tired of evythg... tired of studies, tried of curriculum activities, tired of src, tired of friends, tired of love, tired of competition...

study~i hv reli no idea on what had i studied or learned in this semester... sorry for my noob-ness... i reli... cannot understnd of it even if the lecturer said tat it is just "high-school" stuff... am i cannot be compared to a high skul student? maybe i m worse than a hi-skul student... i m not sure... reli... reli... worry of this semester... kia-su... i admit it... evy1 tot tat i vy pro, but in fact i m not... evy1 said... "wah... president list lor.. u dunno, then hu will knw lor... if u fail arr? then i no nid tek exam ady lor"... speechless... this semester=die...assignment started from week1 till week14... structural concrete design... sumthing tat make us sufferring for the whole semester... lamfoongsin... aiz...

curriculum activities~moulala becum the vicechair of traveler's den... n organizing the sg lembing trip... evryday worry of the market... targetting 35 ppl... if not reach it, or anythg happen... the loses will be responsibled by us... n which is not a small value... duty at booth evyday, make me have no free time to hang out with frens during break time...

src thing~merdeka week... utar ball... blablabla... meeting... and also budget n financial account... wth... i not even settle the account for merdeka week else... then also caused of src meeting n activities... make me skip quite lot of classes... no wonder heard ppl said, entering src thn hv to prepare for getting worse in exam... assignment, the last week already... week 14... there is still an assignment which i think is the toughest one and not yet completed... make my life... BORING!

friends~wanna hang out with frens like previous semesters... but how? i can't... can't even find out free time for hanging out... i knw that maybe i am already started being erm... maybe "boycott" for always refuse to go out with coursemates... coz of meeting n other activities.. but i can do nth... well, now, actualy i juz come bek from hanging out with hanjian, weihao n khaishen... yumcha (or my dinner) and pool... lol.. til 5am...

love~well, wat is love? who do i love?? i dunno.. n vy blur of it... i dun wanna think abt it... i rmbr got sumbody told me b4, love is suffering... dun love is better... erm.. quite agree with it... do i love her? i dunno, and i hope tat i wont think so much... so, now, what can i do is jz treat evy1 as gud frens... and of coz, i luv all my frens... i juz dun wanna to let ppl hate, and hope tat ppl will like me n treat me as gud or maybe best fren...

competition~a gud news... our team is qualified for the bridge competition by UTM... din expect tat we can be accepted since the design is simply draw one using 1 nite time... somemore there is quite a lot problem occuring during the drawing stage... however, qualified into the competition, mean we have extra thing to do during these months... haiz... exam+assignment+trip+now, bridge competition again....

exam till 28th of Sept, 30th nite of Sept goin to sg lembing trip, till 2nd of Oct... 5th of Oct goin to UTM Johor for competition till 7th of Oct.. and industrial training, which i dunno when shud i postpone to... maybe 12th... let Dr. Lai them decide on it... coz i think IJM wil kill me if i tell them i wan to postpone again... but the training will be ended on 31th of Dec... means... i can only go back Perlis on January 2009..summore less than 1 week.. coz of the orientation for January intake... haiz haiz haiz...

七夕情人节快乐

A very ... erm... dunno-how-to-describe day today...
well, for tis blog, jz let me briefly write down what had i done in this semester... as a memory for me in the future... so, i think i hv to write it here 1st bfore i forget it...
well, in tis sem, i join quite a lot of... so-called curiculum activities... From orientation, to src, to society... orientation, as mentioned, i was the ast. treasurer for RCM... but in fact, is responsible for VIP n helpers food.. oo, ya, i was oso the oath taker for the mass call, whose voice is the loudest wan, according to my juniors.... LOL... but we r praised by mr.denish.. manager of DSA, haha~
thn i was the helper for icebreaking n wfc.. wfc, till now i stil dunno wat i actualy helped them in the event... i jz remember, i took the helper tag, n sat there for the whole concert... n, mayb... again... the sound-effect manager... LOL..
well, for the icebreaking, which was the event tat made me knw the most juniors... bcoz i was the faci for the icebreakin, or so-called SPY... lol... from there, i knw a lot of frens... but i think till now, the most got contact de oso are jz qi and doni onli... we r 小毛驴... lol.. stil rmber?? WAKAKA
ok, then i mongchacha then enter jor SRC... student representative committee...become the treasurer of it... sound vy yeng rite?? but actualy not... is the committe tat let ppl "put on table" wan... evythg oso nid to involve, evythg oso related to us.. damn busy!!!! and then, one day, zhiling ask me whether wan join comitee for society o not... n then, again, mong cha cha, then becum vice chair of traveler den ady... swt...

ok...no doubt, tis sem i reli get knw a lot lot lot lot new frens... compared to few previous semesters i at UTAR... n most of the new frens tat i knw is coz of... ice breaking, society, src, malacca "TRIP" and 2nd book selling!!

so-called malacca trip...thx for "strong man"

oohh.. ya, n also coz of i help xinqi (a cute gal from my icebreaking group) to help her n her frens to register art n craft membership, so i get to knw the two frens of her, fiona n peiseen... i knw fi 1st, n how i knw her? it is coz of a vy... funy? or sory? story.. lol.... but coz of tat case oso, i with they three gals bcum more gud frens.. coz of the RM10 senior, or RM6.66666 seniors and the bubble milk tea (where i knw seen there)... haha...
yaa, i knw mr.v as well from selling books... among so many juniors i sell 2nd hand books, i think mr.v is most gud wit me de laa... altho not vy gud fren oso XD
ok then... i mong cha cha bcum src ady maa, so i oso get to knw sum src from other campus... especially sg long wan... dunno y, mayb is a tradition... usually KL campus n sg long campus src more close wan.. but not other campus... hahahhaa...
then, in this sem, i oso mongchacha then go jor join 1 competition... a vy nice competition.... ASEAN build n break competition... at UNITEN.... quite a nice wan... we built a tower crane prototype by using the material they provided us on the spot... in abt 3-4 hrs for us to build... UTAR sent two teams there... CI y3 and y4 students... guess wat, y4 students lose jor... but we!! din lose... juz.. disqualified =.= hahahhaha...

pity us kena "mao kai tao" for our lunch... looking on sky...blaming the god.. y our life so poor...
our "baby" after 3 o 4 hours... on mr.tan table SA block now...

oh ya, we had a trip last time... goin to KL (from KL go KL??? =.=)... a trip by traveler's den... quite happy tat tis trip can success... altho i m not the organizing committee... i involved quite lot in it... so i think i ady treat tis trip as my "baby" lol..

thn... cant think of anythg ady... juz tis sem, quite sien the subj... lamfoongsin... haiz... asgmnent frm week 1 - 14... sot sot sot!!!! low kao sai... dunno wat he teach!!! evyday "huh... huh... huh..." sien!!! dr.chew... he teach quite nice kua... but i dunno... cz he teach, i sleep o i talk!!!! lee min lee... ok larr.. but i chat oso =.=" sorry to them... T_T
Ya, tis sem, i oso becum the helper of Famine 30... 1st time din eat solid food for 30hours... wow... n i din hungry at all!!! (cheat ppl wan larr).... but stil ok larr... 30 hours onli maa.. sapsapsui.. altho we actualy is famine 33... lol... then i saw ah mei oso!!!! rocks! guangliang oso... altho i asleep when guangliang sang til half... paiseh to him ><

Together with a cute gal, wei wei at the famine camp... youngest in our camp, 7yrs old!

but didi said me gold fish uncle (look alike me?!) ><

ok, week 13 ady now.... but my knowledge still on week 1 o 2 onli... hahhha... vy nice.... tis sem.. goin to die lorr.... n i till now dun even knw when i wan to go bek kampung... i tak tau.... i wanna go bek, tis weekend o nex? haiz... if i dn bek either of these two week.. i hv to wait wait wait wait till NEXT YEAR!!! yeah!!! coz i hving exam till 28th of Sept, then 1 n 2nd of Oct hving another trip (oso traveler's den one), thn 5th of Oct haiz... work ady... with IJM.... sien sien sien ><

The project that i will be going to internship for... A 5-star hotel at KL

long long long time din write blog le lorr...

well... reli quite long time din blog ler...
erm... 1 month 2 month... forget le lorr...wakakaka... fanzheng nobody knw tat i got blog oso de larr.. lol....
well... to explain here, actualy i start blogging since form5 ady... here is the proof... u guys can see from here...

stupid4evil.multiply.com

hahaha... i stil rmbr my very 1st blog is abt a scorpio wan.. lol... coyotito as in form5 novel... kakaka... well... i show the link here juz to prove tat i m NOT influenced by any1 to begin blogging... erm... scare tat u guys tot tat i m like sum1 maa... LOL... ya... i m vy "expensive", understnd?? LOL
hahaha... but tat one is longlonglonglonglong time punya history jor...
so ok larr... since nth to do recently.. (in fact, a super bz semester >< vy fan, vy stress, vy bz... my frens got feel it??) so now... i start unlock my blog la... n thn start to update it... ermm...
well... today still nth much to write larr... quite lazy ady... tmr stil goin to hving 2 tutorial... 1 meeting n 1 sg long erm.. dunno wat competition...but i knw go there to see sr korkor flirting lar... wakakka... lol... k lar... byebye...

无聊的晚上

跟housemate去了民歌餐厅（小树）吃晚餐，吃了整整两个小时多。真的是有够无聊的。
刚才看到有个因为orientation认识的朋友在msn的personal message里写了一句“男孩放手让女孩走，不是男孩放弃了女孩，而是因为男孩太爱女孩”，很熟悉的一句。
这，不就是我之前写的吗？他说，是他以前抄我的。我以前写的personal message他都有留下来，说很有意思。呵呵，原来我写的东西也有fans的。。。

在KL的三天。。。

回吉隆坡有三天了。
星期四晚上十一点的巴士，车上只有六位乘客。加上司机总共八个。
很无聊的一个夜晚。好久没有坐晚上的巴士了。尤其是一个人回。
没人陪我聊天。一个人看着窗外，是孤单。
那晚忽然想着想着，落泪了。本以为不会再为你流泪了的。但，不听话的泪水，还是掉下了。
是想起一些回忆吧。毕竟，去年的五月，发生的事情真的太多太多了。
一年了，转眼间。
巴士上，打了电话给正涵，只想找个人聊天，刚开始时，还真的差点讲到哭泣，还好控制得住。
讲了有一小时吧，因为他也很闷，我懂。
五月二十二日，二姐生日了。今年的生日，她在英国。所以没信息给她了。去年好像也是十二点过了才信息她的。那时，是我永远都忘不了的日子。也是我最大遗憾的夜晚，每天都在想，如果，没有那一晚，会是如何？但。。。即使给我知道了，又如何？时间是不可能倒流的。
今年二姐的生日，送了个video给她，拍我们全家人的。这次回家，最大的任务就是把这video搞好（连接起来，找二姐从出生到长大的照片在存入电脑，加入生日歌，放上youtube，等等）好像在赶assignment一样。做了又改，改了又改。
去年的这个时候，我也不是在忙着。但，不同的是，这感动了二姐，而上次的那个，感动不了你，或许，你要收到的话，也许吧。但。。。
对了，今年二姐的生日，也发生了一场意外。三姐，本来想驾车找我的，忽然车前的盖松了，整个飞了起来，遮住前面玻璃镜，她说，当时很危险，看不到前面的车，而旁边全部的车都停了下来让她。结果，得把那盖敲出来（因为扁了点），还要接回去它的joint。而那天，原本打算留在setapak的我，就跟着 ah khoo 的车去了 cheras 我姐家。
今天早上，和三姐去了三姨家吃粽子。表姐的两个女儿也在。一个三岁了一个五岁了。好快哦，还记得之前她们好像才刚出生的。看着她们成长，真的不得不承认时间过得真的很快。怪不得，以前小时常常听大人们说时间不留人。两个小女孩，一个小雯一个小慧，整个家都是她们的声音，到处跑来跑去，无忧无虑的。当小孩，真开心。。。也很简单，一个小小会变色的茶壶，就可以使到她们笑个饱了。真希望，我也可以像她们一样的，简简单单，每天开开心心的，但，能吗？

今天。五月二十一日

要回了。KL。
回到加央才大概八天吧，是，上星期三回来的。
昨天去了alorstar看医生，花了整百块。发觉爸爸妈妈在我身上真的花了不少钱。有千多块了吧。
唉。

昨天还跟爸爸去收房租，中国人的租客。很重的中国音。他们远来这里读书，读的是那里附近的一所回教学院，说回去时可能会做老师，还是翻译员。远离家乡来到这里读书的他们，比跟在吉隆坡的我，真的是。。。我也不懂怎样说。。。

昨晚，和婆婆姑姑一起去吃晚餐，发觉婆婆真的渐渐的老了。要回时，她还问我们要不要拿些菜回家，是她朋友种的，妈妈说不用，叫她自己吃，她却静静的用自己的双手，把菜分成两份，再用原本的报纸左右把两棍菜卷起来，再撕一半。。。再偷偷的把那一半的菜放在我们车后，整个过程她静静的，不想别人看见，但，我全看在眼里了。。。她，一直都这样，想把东西跟我们一起分享。。。忽然，我想起，日后，婆婆越来越老了，姑姑也老了，uncle也退休了，爸爸也退休了，照顾他们的责任，全在我身上了。。。说实在的，满担心会担当不起来。。。

昨天和今天早上，去了学校，同样的校园，但感觉不同了。以前回去时都会有种类似回家的感觉，但这几次，我懂，改变的是什么。。。一年了，转眼间。。。
时间，可以倒流吗？或许，我太天真了吧。。。

昨天晚上，姑姑开着肥田的戏，有一句话满深刻的，“我们只是发了一场梦，但，最严重的是，我尽然不想从这场梦醒过来。。。”

晚上，十一点，搭巴士回kl了，这一次回去，应该得再等到九月了才回了吧。
几时，才会遇见你呢，但我了解，你不想遇见我。。。

五月十八日。。。

好久没写blog了，但没关系啦，反正也没人会懂的，因为由于我从没跟人说过这blog，所以根本没有人懂它的存在。。。
回家了。玻璃市的家。这次是搭飞机回来，和意雁，joaane 一起。十三日的air asia，而今天看报纸得知当天有位搭air asia的飞机去槟城的其中一位乘客得了H1N1，11am 起飞的，幸亏十一点时我还在setapak。所以应该没关系吧~
回来了几天，这几天都跟朋友出去，广财，耀谦，静萦，意雁，正涵等等。。。喝茶，打球，还去SP Carnival玩水。。。

至于她，真的很久很久很久没见到她了。想念，有用吗？我了解已经改变了。。。一年了，我还放不下吗？现在的关系，已经变得从未想象中的奇怪了。就算我想把她当成纯粹的好朋友，我想也难了。。。

只希望时间真的可以治疗我的心情。。。
再过多几天就要回KL了，好久没回中学了，不懂该不该回。。。

One day trip for CI G3

bla bla...
another "one day selangor trip" for CI G3...
yesterday... 15th April... we were having class from 1-2pm... and after that got a briefing about course selection to 2.30pm...
well, after the briefing... Joan, suddenly told us that she wanna go to Batu Cave, since she never went there b4 although Batu Cave is jz few stones away from Genting Klang...
ok... so how? juz ON lorr!
well, since i din having my lunch yet because i wake up quite late on tat day =.= so we decided to go having our lunch at a Lim Chicken Rice Shop at Kajang which is opened by my coursemate Mei mei family...
After tat, we went for the Batu Cave!!!
Heard of this place since primary school and pass by this place for several times, especially whenever i get lost while driving in KL... haha... but this was the very 1st time for me to enter this so-called tourism place.. rm2 for the parking fee... erm...
then goin up there and suddenly yachie feeling not well and thus she din enter the temple ady... even though she ady climb up the so-called vy high n long staircase...
Well, Batu Cave is famous of its staircase, i think evy1 from m'sia should knw abt it... but, after i went there, juz i realize that the staircase is not reli vy long... compared to that 18 floor staircase we nid to climb up when our lovely Sri Pelangi blok 128 lift got problem or too slow, it is jz a small matter.. haha
Well, after visiting the Batu Cave, sudenly hanjian said... "we went kuala selangor eat seafood la" then we reli go there... after drop yachie at her house and waiting for yeelin to get her so-called GPS, but not reli useful... hahah... we going to MU to fetch hueixing oso... Then we go for the Kuala Selangor where i never went there b4... 80km from setapak... erm... near?? depends on wat u all think lor..
Driving for so long quite a reli suffering thg... aiz... it's reli further than i imagined... n finally we reached there... Having our dinner at a dunno-wat-name restaurant and cost RM18 per person... There is also a karaoke there and Serene was proudly invited by us to sing 2 songs there...
After the dinner, we went for the Kampung Kuantan for fireflies seeing... 1st time see so many fireflies there... n also the sky with uncountable stars... erm... quite a romantic place and suitable place for couple... Looking around, in front of me is hueixing... beside of me is yeelin... wahh... soooo xingfu niaa me... two LENG LUI from civil engineering lerr... envy lerr... hahahaha... but actualy quite pity me... hahaha...
After evythg, we decided to go bek ady lorr... On the way bek, yeelin said dun wanna use the road we used when we come ady, coz it is not nice to drive there, so she suggested to tek a nicer, bigger but longer road which pass by klang, shah alam, subang, pj, etc. Then we said, since we ady reach pj, y not we jz stop at SS2 murni for a tea? So yeelin quickly fon meimei's car to tell them tis news.. Below is the conversation... (she foned mei mei)

Lin: Mei mei, u pass ur fon to khaishen now, u r driving, i scare later dangerous, fast, pas to him
(after khaishen answer)
Lin: Khaishen, now i tell u, but u dun answer anythg, n dun let meimei knw abt it... u tell mei mei and pretend tat u dunno the road, then let us direct the road... we are goin to murni now...ok?
Shen: Wat i wan to tell u is... very early ago, mei mei ady switch to loud speaker...
(Then followed by a laugh from meimei car and yeelin start to be paiseh and hang the fon)

But anyhow, meimei car oso drive slower and let my car to cut over it and bring them to murni... lol... Then at last, we let mei mei go bek 1st since her family ady phoned her for few times ady... And my car is going to fetch peter and 4 MU ppl... and finally i reach home at 2.30am... zzz

心，下雨了

心，下雨了。雨后彩虹？但，我却看不到。如今，雨，再下了一次。。。

三月十五日，星期日。一个信息，把一切给搞清楚了。
之前一切的疑问，大多都在这短短的几句话里明白了。
“我懂一个消息，不懂要不要跟你讲，但已经不是什么秘密了，因为很多人都知道了”
就这一句，我，明白了。

当时的心情，和去年十一月二十五日没两样。想哭，但哭不出来。是我已经学会了放弃吗？还是我早已预了这样的结果？还是人真的是在最伤心时是流不出眼泪的？这突来的消息真的令我顿时不知所措，眼看着两天后要考试的课本，但，根本没心情读下去，再加上生病，真的是没力气去想下一步该怎么走。。。

我不懂到底我还被隐瞒着什么，还有什么是我不懂的，一直以来，我以为至少对你来说，我是个好朋友，但你却什么都瞒着我，甚至现在，你到底有没有欺骗着我，或是利用着我，我不懂，也不敢去想。。。顿时的你，好可怕。。。

你懂吗，你是我这一生里对过最好的人，也从来没为任何人付出到像对你的那么多。。。
为了送礼物给你，通宵了几夜，也绞尽了几个星期的脑汁。虽然我不懂你会不会珍惜它。。。

你对我说那某某东西是你要送给朋友的，我帮你去买。你说是个她，因为你欠她的。你有骗我吗？我不懂。但我了解，他的生日快到了。星期四，而你说最好能在星期一，二里收到。在我还没完成我任务时，你不时会信息我，关心下我，但一旦东西到手了，信息往往都是一去不回的。。。这一切的巧合，很难令我不去想太多。我不懂。只希望你不会骗我。你应该知道，要是你真的是要送给他，而你告诉我事实，我也会帮你的。我现在很害怕，你是因为要买东西给他，而想找人帮忙，又怕我不帮，而欺骗了我，利用了我的感情去达到你的目的。。。但，我希望这一切只是我自己想太多了。。。

我，真的累了。。。不懂该怎么走下去。。。对你，越来越模糊了。。。现在只希望，你会开心快乐幸福，而我依然会默默的在你身边陪伴着你，支持你。。。虽然，或许这一切一切对你来说，是多余的。。。只希望，在你开心会找我分享，伤心时会找我哭诉。。。也会把xx仔永远的放在心里面，哪怕只是个小小的空间，也足够了。。。

我很了解我的心从来没迷路过，这条路是我想要走的那条路，而是这条路太难走了，也太窄了，想挤进去也太多了，我已经尝试努力的走下去，但。。。这条路，有容下我的地方吗？就算是只个小小空间，我，也满足了。。

kelefe的一天

三月八日。。。星期天。。。
很闷的一天。。。那天早上印象中很早就起身了。。。
不久后，solo king和阿庞也起身了，那前一晚solo king住我家，因为要和阿庞一起搞定“土木工程建筑材料”(civil construction material)的功课，而我无所事事的不懂该做什么好。。。
首先，早上无聊的话，最好去的地方就是巴刹咯！
去那干什么？买菜？买水果？呵呵，等我煮菜啊，慢慢发梦啦，是去买早餐。。。
在去着巴刹的路上，遇到了一个女子，很熟悉的样子，檫肩而过时她看着我，我也看着她，她不就是比我大两年的仪惠咯？也是德玛的嘛。。。是啊，没错是她啊，但蛮奇怪的怎么她会在这里出现。。。跟她打了个招呼就继续各走各的了。。。她应该也会很奇怪吧怎么会在这里遇到我，呵呵～
买完早餐后，在家一边看戏一边吃，一口气看了四集。。。由于不怎么好看，所以懒惰看下去了。。。
中午了，还蛮饱的，因为早上吃了太多呵呵。。。所以就等到了三点多才打算去买午餐。。。
才刚准备要出门时，电话响了。。。是伟忠。。。
“诶，你要去拍广告吗？现在去。。。putrajaya，我载你去。。。一百块，包晚餐”
哇，突然好像有张一百块钞票飞在我眼前了，难道不去咩。。。所以就空着肚子跟着去了。。。
到了putrajaya，大概四点半左右，但绕来绕去，不懂那广告在哪拍，结果问东问西五点半左右才真正的算到达，现在大概整个putrajaya我们都走完了吧。。。
去到了那，大概有六七十个人，华人马来人都有。。。
那是个brycream的广告，听他们说早上已经开始拍了。。。还遇到了一位好像 ika 的马来人，呵呵～
在那里，坐不久后那的负责人就叫我们去排队换衣了，要那种去演唱会的服装（那时要拍的场景是个演唱会）
以为换好衣后很快就可以拍了，哪知。。。等到了七点，还没开始。。。只是无聊的坐在那傻傻的等。。。
不能忍了，就和伟忠的朋友阿财去外面吃些所谓的茶点，超饿的，因为午餐还没来得及吃。。。
有意大利面，糕点和西茶在那。。。
吃完后进去跟伟忠他们说，然后又再陪他们出去吃多一次。。。大概十多分钟后，负责人叫我们全部进去了，好像很紧张这样。。。应该要拍了吧我想。。。
哪知，进去了不久，负责人却跟我们说晚餐已经准备好了，叫我们去吃＝.＝
结果在短短的一小时里面，我吃了午餐＋晚餐。。。呵呵
九点半了，终于他们要开机了。。。
安排好位置，就叫我们找几个人一起扮谈天，做到好像很热闹酱。。。然后两个男主角会在人群中走去前面跟两位女主角讲话，这短短的场景而已。。。花了大概两小时拍=.=　那时的我们站在最后面，所以广告里肯定没有我们的存在。。。说了嘛kelefe呵呵
另个scene是在演唱会了，之前那个应该是说主角们去演唱会前吧～那时负责人把我们分成前面三排，后面三排，中间。。。空的=.=
而我站在后面的中间，摄影机就在我身后，５０％的可能我会在里面，所以看咯，广告出时，如果看到穿红白衣的背影就是我的了呵呵。。。
拍那scene之前，由于要等那摄影机准备好，我无聊起来就跟旁边的马来男子谈天，问我从哪里来，我说玻璃市，然后他旁边的另个马来男子听到就说“哇，玻璃市啊？！很少看到那里的人的咧”他说我好像是他遇过的不懂是第一个还是第二个玻璃市人（玻璃市人真的这样特别吗@@)
过后，他旁边的另个马来男子听到了又说“玻璃市啊？我也是咧。。。”呵呵。。。就这样，我们越谈越起来了。。。
十二点半，终于拍完了，搞了整整八个小时，我想拍出来的应该不到八秒吧。。。
拿了钱，回家，到家也已经半夜一点了。。。就这样，我的第一次kelefe。。。^^

喘不过气

很快的，已经踏入了week7，这段日子是每个学期最忙的时间了。。。
这几个星期真的是忙得喘不过气来
只有三个字可以形容吧---快死了！

星期一
原本有考试的，工程分析(engineering analysis)，听起来好像很高级的科目吧。。。但其实就是数学一个。但当天的考试取消了，原因是阿彪，那个被我们投诉的教授，由于校方了解他并不会教书，所以延迟了当天的考试，也决定了要换个教授给我们。当天原带着期待的心情看看谁将是所谓的新教授，但，到了课室，看到的，依然是那位熟悉的彪哥。据说，他当天上课时还低声下气的跟我们道歉，而且还有slideshow的，什么“以和为贵” 还有一只snoopy带着一队小狗走来走去，说every team must hv a leader...但，迟到的我，错过了这场好戏。。。

星期二~考试结构分析II(structural analysis II)，也很高级吧。。。但事实上跟我们前几个学期学的东西没两样，只是问题难了点

星期三~整个晚上赶通宵道德的功课。。。一个人做两个人以上的份，不通宵能赶得及做完？发梦！

星期四~早上终于赶完了，8点上课，但我们九点多才弄完，再很紧张的赶到学校去，害怕老师走了我们也就完蛋了，好彩总算来得及。。。虽然这次的assignment是有史以来做得最不满意的一份

星期五~要交实验报告，最好笑的是，要交了，而我却还没做完，还在这里写部落格 T.T 来不及了啦。。。现在已经六点四十五了！！！discussion还没动到！！！

快疯了。。。 通宵都不懂通了几天了。。。我，会忙死吗？

彪哥的道歉~

彪哥的道歉~

"My sincere apology to all of you. I admit my mistakes and willing to change to serve the students better. I hope all of you can give me a chance. I promise to help you in whatever way I can. Can you help deliver this message to your classmates? I will still see you in Tutorial and the lecture will be new lecturer. Anyway I hope you can give me a chance to correct the situation."

请大家原谅他吧~

记得我永远都支持你！虽然。。。我是策划+呼唤土木工程学生投诉你的其中一位功臣xD

ps: 彪哥=黑社会老大？错了，而是我们永远最崇拜最帅的教授！！！

心情@写照

问我
心情如何？
坦白说
我不懂

有种很矛盾，莫名的感觉
上网只为遇见你
但却很害怕看到你的名字出现在上线名单里
更害怕看到“他”
总有千千万万的东西想跟你说
但却说不出口

曾经无话不谈的我们
曾经聊通宵的我们
曾经在同个时间说出同一句话的我们
曾经互相支持对方的我们
曾经了解对方的我们
许多的曾经曾经都发生在我们之间过
虽然从没开始过
但感觉，已经在我心里慢慢发芽了

要是知道会如此辛苦
要是要有这样的结局
要是注定不能在一起
为何当初要安排我俩相遇，相识
要是注定只能当朋友
为何开始时就要走错路
这一开始走的
并不是普通朋友的路线

曾经想放弃
曾经想忘掉
但能吗？
我希望我能
但也很清楚地知道
其实我并不想这样结束了

。说好。的。幸福呢。